Our baby could have been named C-SPAN

Fitting for a total politics junkie mom, Raphael Max was born on Election Day at 6:38 PM.

He's 9 lbs 2 oz. and measures 21 inches long.

We're all doing well.

My higher BP numbers this week have landed me on modified bedrest while we wait for Baby to show up.  No shopping, no putting away of messes and lots of sitting being done around here.  While I grow into my couch, I thought I'd share with you some examples of the political ads in our area.
_____________________

How well do we know Jack Smith?

We recently learned that Jack Smith plays golf with Satan every single Sunday.

Jack Smith kills puppies for fun.

And last week, Jack Smith said that he hated America.

We can't vote for Jack Smith, cause we don't know Jack.
_______________________

Jimmy Jones says that he's one of us, but did you know that his real name was Vladimir Lenin?

As a Congressman, Jones sponsored a bill that would end life as we know it.

Not only is Jimmy Jones a Democrat, he also hangs out with people in the Democrat Party.

Sorry, Jimmy, you're not one of us at all.
_______________________

Any crazy political ads being shown in your area?

Surely I Must Be on TV

Why?  Because this morning, I used a seat belt to strap in a jug of pee to my car.  I'm on Candid Camera, right?  Where are the cameras?

One of the midwives called with the results this afternoon.  My pee is perfect (creatinine levels look good and protein levels are low) -- go me.

After the pee drop-off, I went to the store to buy a digital camera, thus guaranteeing that I will find the one that I can't find in my home.  Now to make sure that we remember to bring the camera with us...

I got home to find that all of the sprinkler heads have been replaced in my home.  Yay!  I had gone first thing this morning to the building manager to ask if our unit could be prioritized for the work.  Apparently, we were the first unit done today.  Thank goodness.  I believe the contractors have to come back tomorrow to check for leaks, so I can't put anything away yet, but there's light at the end of the tunnel now.

40 Weeks

Well, we're here.  No baby yet, but tons of excitement.

Early Saturday morning, I was having a lot of "contractions" that were very close together (1:30 apart for about an hour).  I knew it couldn't be the real thing because the contractions were unpleasant but not painful.  (After conferring today with my midwife and a friend who is a doula, it's likely that the contractions were my cervix effacing as opposed to dilating). 

What was worse than the contractions was the nausea.  It was back in full force.  It's been so long since I've had nausea (and it was also 3 AM), that I couldn't remember what to do and I am the Nausea Queen!  My body's response to any stimulus is nausea!  I was embarrassed for myself.  After finally realizing I needed to eat, I had a few small pretzels and made myself a cuppa tea.  The pretzels didn't help much, but once I started drinking the tea, my stomach seemed to settle down.

I've worried that the nausea would return for labor, and I guess I have confirmation now that it will.  I've spoken with both JD and our doula about this concern, stressing the need to make sure that I'm hydrating enough so that we can avoid the need for IV hydration.  We're also going to make sure to pack a few things that help me with nausea to bring in to the hospital.

So, that brings us to today.  At the midwives' office today, my blood pressure was pretty high for me (142/90).  I had my first cervical check -- one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.  I was 50% effaced and not dilated at all (maybe that's why the check was so painful).  Baby's heartrate was steady in the 150s.  A second bp check was still high, so I got sent to the hospital for a non-stress test and bloodwork.

I got hooked up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff and the nurse had me lay down flat on my back on the gurney.  I wasn't able to sleep (there were so many alarm bells going off all over the place - not from me) but I was able to just lay down and rest.  They had me laying down for so long that my left hip started hurting (as it has done throughout the last couple months), so I managed to flip myself over to my side.  Apparently, my bp stayed high the whole time until I turned to my side, when it came down immediately into the normal range and stayed there.  Yeah, so I guess what they say about avoiding laying on your back when you're heavily pregnant is true and maybe the labor/delivery nurse should know that.  You know, just maybe.

My bloodwork and urine dip came back normal, so the midwife thought this was probably just pregnancy-induced hypertension.  I think it was life-induced hypertension, as they are currently replacing all of the sprinkler heads in our building, and they were supposed to come this morning and tomorrow* and you have to move everything 2 feet away from each sprinkler head so my house looks like a tornado went through it, and it's a sucky thing to go through when you're in full-on nesting mode.  There's been a couple of crying jags due to the stress and emotions and the drama of it all.  Of course, the contractors didn't even show up today.  I'm going to go down to the office tomorrow morning and see if our unit can be put on the priority list to get done because we can't clean up the place until after they are done and it's at least a 2-day process.

So, I get to do a 24-hour urine catch (hooray) and go back in to see the midwives on Thursday.

The hospital was packed today (Snowpacalypse babies in da house!) and triage was especially swamped.  Given the crowd, they are booking an induction date for me in case we need it.  I'm hoping we don't.

*The scheduling of the sprinkler work was not my idea.  The process started around Labor Day and they should have gotten to our unit by the end of September.  Unfortunately, there have been a lot of hiccups in the process and they've only gotten to us this week.

39 Weeks

I'm alive and fine.  Baby is still on the inside.  I just haven't had much to say in the last month.  I think about stuff to write and feel terribly guilty for not posting more often, but it's like I only have little things to say and then it's not worth it and then I go hide.

What's been happening?

-My office had an extremely low-key shower for me with cake and a few gifts.  It was really nice and I appreciated my co-workers accommodating my wishes about not having a huge blowout party.  These gifts happened to be the first baby items that we brought into our house, so that was a big thrill too.

-My sister and my BFF threw a Celebration of Awesome for me in lieu of a shower.  This was a gathering of the women in my family at a local hotel for a high tea and we had a wonderful time.

-I have it on good authority from several people that based on the way that I'm carrying/the baby's heartrate/the date of conception/the angle of Venus that the baby is definitely a boy/girl.  I am confident that the baby is a boy/girl.

-The baby dropped about 2 weeks ago in order to spare me the horrible heartburn (or, cause you know that's how anatomy works) and now I just feel like a 10 lb. (uneducated guesstimate, whatever it's heavy) weight is swinging between my legs when I'm walking.

-In other "Holy Crap, This Might Be Real, But Let's Not Tempt Fate" news, I have set up the Pack 'n' Play in our bedroom and my sister's boyfriend, a fireman, came over to install our car seat for us.  I am now driving around with an infant seat in my car.  I am praying that the fates are appeased by JD and I stubbing our toes on the much-larger-than-it-seemed-in-the-store Pack 'n' Play every time we walk by.  Prior to getting the car seat installed, we took the car to the car wash and they vaccuumed out the inside of the car and then we got to ride through the car wash and it's so beautiful now I don't even want to drive it.  Yes, I'm 5.

-Our house is a mess.  We are hopeless clutterers.  One day the crap will drown me in a tidal wave of junk mail and spare computer cables.  JD does not think my solution of burning down the house is a good idea (probably because he refuses to abandon our clutter-filled ways and/or wants to avoid being labeled an "arsonist."  He's small-minded like that).  Also, the front of the house has a weird smell that I'm pretty sure is not me because wouldn't I then smell the smell wherever I went and I don't so I think it's something in the house.  The smell might be from our houseplant; I don't think it's from stinkbugs cause they have a different smell.  I don't think we're hoarders, but I'm not as diligent as I could be about cleaning up and maintaining and JD won't do anything involving cleaning unless I'm cleaning at the exact same time (sometimes not even then).  I haven't found a solution yet, but I am ever hopeful.

-I love the show "Fringe."  I feel so good knowing that I hung in there through the stupid period because the show would come back to a place of even more awesome and it did.  I don't know why I'm still watching "Grey's" as it entered the stupid period long ago and it looks as if it'll never return.

-Will try to post more soon, even if it's just little things.  I've been following everyone's blogs, just not commenting very often.

I'm Not Discounting Ebola Yet

Finally back from all the High Holiday hoopla and the Bataan Death March that was our tour of the hospital where (knock on wood) we'll be delivering  [the maternity ward is a very short walk, but they made us hike over to the hospital wing 4,000 miles away where they'll be storing overflow post-partum cases.  They are anticipating an overflow due to all the babies who are about to be born because Keyzer Snowze happened 9 months ago, and apparently people who have sex during blizzards get babies.  (Silly rabbit, that's what cures IF)].

I had my second appointment yesterday with my new practice of midwives and it went really well.  Blood pressure is good; weight is good; baby is head down and is measuring right on time.  I'm spilling a little glucose, but the nurse thinks that's more attributable to the Starbucks Hot Chocolate I had yesterday morning, then anything to really worry about.

I also got a flu shot.  About three hours later, my throat started hurting and I started feeling really congested.  I've never had this kind of reaction to the flu shot before, so I'm thinking it's just the coincidental onset of a cold.  Or Ebola.  Cause you never know.  Now I have to hunt down whoever gave me this cold/Ebola  and kill them, since that's a proportional response.  (I just heard one of the admins coughing, so he and my MIL (who's had a cold since Rosh Hashanah) are now the prime suspects).

Speaking of the lack of proportional responses, my MIL and SIL seem bound and determined to keep me in the middle of their never-ending battle, with each complaining about the other to me.  I think they are both acting like immature hotheads, and I mean that in the most diplomatic way possible.  I do think that each of them would benefit from actually learning the lesson that it's possible to convey the same message in many different ways, some more offensive than others.  Given what I think is the generalized lack of understanding of conversational and social cues from undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's going on here, it's unlikely that either will learn this lesson, and that both people will invariably select the most offensive statement to use on any given occasion.

In other news, as I discussed with Calliope, LJ and Mel the other day, I'm now having nightmares related to my worries about SIL and her crazy intolerant very strong opinions on everything hand washing and the fact that her immediate family does not use any antibacterial products (which I'm OK with) and does not wash their hands with soap (which I'm not OK with).  One of the bloggers on Who Wants to Know recently did a post on these signs that you hang on a stroller or car seat to discourage random people with unwashed hands from touching the baby.  A little extreme?  Perhaps.  Would SIL respect the sign or my requests?  Given her previous behavior, that's a bit doubtful.  Suggestions for how to handle this would be appreciated.

Best Wishes for the New Year

After taking a realistic look (brought on by a vent of crazy) at the list of what I was going to make for the holidays and the list of what I would be able to make for the holidays, I severely pared down my cooking to-do list.  (Let us not mention that I now have ingredients for the former list sitting in my pantry -- maybe I'll cook some more next week).  Thank goodness that both my mother and MIL are understanding women whose price is beyond rubies.

Just wanted to take a moment before tonight to wish everyone a sweet and happy new year.  The poem below always moves me, so I like to include it each year in my new year greetings.

In the new year which now begins, these are my wishes for you:


May you experience no earthquakes, no hurricanes, no floods, and no dinnertime phone solicitations.
And if they come, may you have a flashlight, a radio, a cell phone, water, food, and a siddur [prayer book] ready, just in case.

May you see a good play, hear a great opera, and see no flashing police lights behind you.

May strangers greet you with smiles, and little children with sticky kisses.

May you have enough wealth to be able to give to tzedakah [charity], and enough left over to provide you with necessities:

May you have bread to eat and cake as well,

May you have a roof over your head and clothing to wear,
And may you help provide them for the hungry, the homeless and the ragged.

May your stocks come back,
And may your bank stay open,
And may your interest rate fall,
And may the IRS leave you a full 30% of what you earn to call your own.

May you banish all thoughts and conversations about the coming elections
For these next ten days,
So that you avoid fights with members of your family and your friends,
And may you remember that, no matter who is elected,
According to Hebrew National,
They all have to answer to a Higher Authority.

May you forgive the candidates for what they say about each other,
And may you remember that no one is as perfect as he claims to be,
And no one is as terrible as his opponent claims he is,
And forget the promises that they all make -- because they will, as soon as they are elected.

May you be able to decipher your electric bill, your telephone bills, your credit card bill, and your income tax forms,
And the tiny, tiny print at the bottom of all these documents,
Which says in essence that they don't mean what is written above in big print.


May you live long enough to be able to drive automobiles which do not run on fossil fuels.
And may this happen before you become an old fossil yourself.


May those of us who drive SUVs be blessed with enough wealth
To be able to fill them with gasoline enough,
To get to the corner store and back,
And may we not have to choose between having enough money with which to buy gas with which to get to the grocery store,
And having enough money with which to buy groceries when we get there.
And may our children, for the sake of whom we bought these vehicles in the first place
Never yell or fight but sit quietly buckled up, with their hands folded,
And never once ask us: Are we there yet?


May you learn how to control your television set,
And may you learn to cope with all the new buttons on the controls,
And may there be something worth watching when you finally figure out how to start your TV.

May neither you, nor your computer, ever be infected by a virus.

May peace reign over Israel,
And may its children not have to sleep in bomb shelters any longer,
And may all of its leaders, like Natan Sharansky, be people who have gone to prison BEFORE they ascended to high office, and not afterwards.

May the world become safe to live in for all of G-D's children,
And may some parents learn that it is not necessary to strap explosives onto the bodies of their children in order to attain paradise,
But that instead paradise can be found here on earth, if people will only learn to live together in peace.


May you stop rushing long enough to realize
How blessed we are
To be able to enjoy this amazing planet on which we live,
And may we try hard not to spoil it.


And whether you pray in the words of the machzor [a Hebrew prayer book],
Or in your own words,
May you feel the presence of G-D around you,
And may you love your G-D, with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might,
And may you know that G-D loves you too,
And may G-D give you a shana tova u'metukah,
A good and a sweet new year.


Amen.
--Rabbi Jacob Pressman