I'm Not Discounting Ebola Yet

Finally back from all the High Holiday hoopla and the Bataan Death March that was our tour of the hospital where (knock on wood) we'll be delivering  [the maternity ward is a very short walk, but they made us hike over to the hospital wing 4,000 miles away where they'll be storing overflow post-partum cases.  They are anticipating an overflow due to all the babies who are about to be born because Keyzer Snowze happened 9 months ago, and apparently people who have sex during blizzards get babies.  (Silly rabbit, that's what cures IF)].

I had my second appointment yesterday with my new practice of midwives and it went really well.  Blood pressure is good; weight is good; baby is head down and is measuring right on time.  I'm spilling a little glucose, but the nurse thinks that's more attributable to the Starbucks Hot Chocolate I had yesterday morning, then anything to really worry about.

I also got a flu shot.  About three hours later, my throat started hurting and I started feeling really congested.  I've never had this kind of reaction to the flu shot before, so I'm thinking it's just the coincidental onset of a cold.  Or Ebola.  Cause you never know.  Now I have to hunt down whoever gave me this cold/Ebola  and kill them, since that's a proportional response.  (I just heard one of the admins coughing, so he and my MIL (who's had a cold since Rosh Hashanah) are now the prime suspects).

Speaking of the lack of proportional responses, my MIL and SIL seem bound and determined to keep me in the middle of their never-ending battle, with each complaining about the other to me.  I think they are both acting like immature hotheads, and I mean that in the most diplomatic way possible.  I do think that each of them would benefit from actually learning the lesson that it's possible to convey the same message in many different ways, some more offensive than others.  Given what I think is the generalized lack of understanding of conversational and social cues from undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's going on here, it's unlikely that either will learn this lesson, and that both people will invariably select the most offensive statement to use on any given occasion.

In other news, as I discussed with Calliope, LJ and Mel the other day, I'm now having nightmares related to my worries about SIL and her crazy intolerant very strong opinions on everything hand washing and the fact that her immediate family does not use any antibacterial products (which I'm OK with) and does not wash their hands with soap (which I'm not OK with).  One of the bloggers on Who Wants to Know recently did a post on these signs that you hang on a stroller or car seat to discourage random people with unwashed hands from touching the baby.  A little extreme?  Perhaps.  Would SIL respect the sign or my requests?  Given her previous behavior, that's a bit doubtful.  Suggestions for how to handle this would be appreciated.

Best Wishes for the New Year

After taking a realistic look (brought on by a vent of crazy) at the list of what I was going to make for the holidays and the list of what I would be able to make for the holidays, I severely pared down my cooking to-do list.  (Let us not mention that I now have ingredients for the former list sitting in my pantry -- maybe I'll cook some more next week).  Thank goodness that both my mother and MIL are understanding women whose price is beyond rubies.

Just wanted to take a moment before tonight to wish everyone a sweet and happy new year.  The poem below always moves me, so I like to include it each year in my new year greetings.

In the new year which now begins, these are my wishes for you:


May you experience no earthquakes, no hurricanes, no floods, and no dinnertime phone solicitations.
And if they come, may you have a flashlight, a radio, a cell phone, water, food, and a siddur [prayer book] ready, just in case.

May you see a good play, hear a great opera, and see no flashing police lights behind you.

May strangers greet you with smiles, and little children with sticky kisses.

May you have enough wealth to be able to give to tzedakah [charity], and enough left over to provide you with necessities:

May you have bread to eat and cake as well,

May you have a roof over your head and clothing to wear,
And may you help provide them for the hungry, the homeless and the ragged.

May your stocks come back,
And may your bank stay open,
And may your interest rate fall,
And may the IRS leave you a full 30% of what you earn to call your own.

May you banish all thoughts and conversations about the coming elections
For these next ten days,
So that you avoid fights with members of your family and your friends,
And may you remember that, no matter who is elected,
According to Hebrew National,
They all have to answer to a Higher Authority.

May you forgive the candidates for what they say about each other,
And may you remember that no one is as perfect as he claims to be,
And no one is as terrible as his opponent claims he is,
And forget the promises that they all make -- because they will, as soon as they are elected.

May you be able to decipher your electric bill, your telephone bills, your credit card bill, and your income tax forms,
And the tiny, tiny print at the bottom of all these documents,
Which says in essence that they don't mean what is written above in big print.


May you live long enough to be able to drive automobiles which do not run on fossil fuels.
And may this happen before you become an old fossil yourself.


May those of us who drive SUVs be blessed with enough wealth
To be able to fill them with gasoline enough,
To get to the corner store and back,
And may we not have to choose between having enough money with which to buy gas with which to get to the grocery store,
And having enough money with which to buy groceries when we get there.
And may our children, for the sake of whom we bought these vehicles in the first place
Never yell or fight but sit quietly buckled up, with their hands folded,
And never once ask us: Are we there yet?


May you learn how to control your television set,
And may you learn to cope with all the new buttons on the controls,
And may there be something worth watching when you finally figure out how to start your TV.

May neither you, nor your computer, ever be infected by a virus.

May peace reign over Israel,
And may its children not have to sleep in bomb shelters any longer,
And may all of its leaders, like Natan Sharansky, be people who have gone to prison BEFORE they ascended to high office, and not afterwards.

May the world become safe to live in for all of G-D's children,
And may some parents learn that it is not necessary to strap explosives onto the bodies of their children in order to attain paradise,
But that instead paradise can be found here on earth, if people will only learn to live together in peace.


May you stop rushing long enough to realize
How blessed we are
To be able to enjoy this amazing planet on which we live,
And may we try hard not to spoil it.


And whether you pray in the words of the machzor [a Hebrew prayer book],
Or in your own words,
May you feel the presence of G-D around you,
And may you love your G-D, with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might,
And may you know that G-D loves you too,
And may G-D give you a shana tova u'metukah,
A good and a sweet new year.


Amen.
--Rabbi Jacob Pressman

50/50

Dizziness and nausea started last night and continued all through most of the day today.  Blech.  I'll mention it to my OB when I see her tomorrow, but she had told me that it was possible that the nausea might come back, so I'm not sure there's much to do beyond taking some Zofran if I need to.  (Also, her office called me today to let me know that the copy of my files was ready for pickup.  Yay!)

On the good side though, I was able to start cooking for the High Holidays.  Yay me!  I mixed together two batches of MyMahtha's Honey Walnut Coin Cookies and put them in the freezer.  I'll defrost the dough and bake off the cookies next week.

I Heart Lists

Because I just can't go into how infuriating my OB's office is (current threat level: firebombing = proportional response), I present you with a List of The New Classics as seen on books i done read.  I've probably done this before, but I heart lists.

If there's any that I haven't read that you recommend, let me know!

THE NEW CLASSICS

1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy

2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling
3. Beloved, Toni Morrison
4. The Liars' Club, Mary Karr
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane
7. Maus, Art Spiegelman
8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami
11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer
12. Blindness, José Saramago
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
16. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith
20. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
21. On Writing, Stephen King
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry
25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt
28. Naked, David Sedaris
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson
31. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion
34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst
36. Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman
47. World's Fair, E.L. Doctorow
48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
49. Clockers, Richard Price
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan
53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware
55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré
57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe
58. Drop City, TC Boyle
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat
60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich
61. Money, Martin Amis
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace
67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon
73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving
74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi
82. Atonement, Ian McEwan
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields
84. Holes, Louis Sachar
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson
86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
89. Close Range, Annie Proulx
90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser
95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman
96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson
98. The Predators' Ball, Connie Bruck
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman
100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show

More on Records and EFM Stuff

So, I didn't have to get all lawyer-y on my doc's office - I just asked if a letter requesting my records for my own use would be sufficient, and they said yes.  Thank goodness.  I faxed in that letter yesterday afternoon, and I plan to follow up with them first thing tomorrow morning.  (I'll be picking up the records myself and delivering them by hand to the midwives' office to avoid any screw ups.  Well, to avoid screw ups by other people -- never discount my own ability to mess things up).  After getting off the phone, I basked in my utter rebelness, did a victory dance and told my assistant that "I fight for the forces of justice and goodness."

In answer to a few commenters' questions regarding the availability of a compromise with my doc, unfortunately, there really isn't one.  My doc wants me to be on continuous monitoring from the second that I walk in the hospital doors.  She wasn't even thrilled with the idea of my getting off of the monitor for bathroom breaks, let alone only being on the monitor for 10 or 20 minutes out of every hour.  Also, as I mentioned yesterday, at my hospital, if you're on the monitor, you're in the bed, and that's that.

I've got some issues with the whole idea of continuous monitoring in general (e.g., the monitors are notoriously inaccurate, and are even more so for overweight women), but am willing to do continuous monitoring with a wireless system, that would enable me to move freely during labor, while giving my care provider the information that they would like.

Hopefully, this will all work itself out in the coming days.

A Change Is Gonna Come - We Think

I saw my doc on Monday for my 30-week (yikes!) appointment.  Everything looks good, and I even managed to lose 4 lbs.  The weight loss is likely due to a slight return of nausea over the past two-week period.  My doc had warned me previously that this could occur in women who've had hyperemesis and that I should take the Zofran pills on an as-needed basis.  Most of my nausea was eased by a cup of tea and longer naps; there was really only one day where I needed the Zofran to get me out of the cycle.

I also went over our preferences for the birth with my doc.  JD and I are both hoping to have as "natural" a birth as possible, i.e., one that is as unmedicated as possible.  Our doc was mostly willing to work within our preferences, but absolutely balked on the question of external electronic fetal monitoring (EFM).  Apparently, the policy of our hospital and of our doctor (who only works out of this one hospital) is to have the mother on continuous EFM from the time she walks in.  At our hospital, this means that mom cannot get out of bed while she's in labor.  (Other hospitals have the capability to do wireless EFM, so that moms can move around, change positions, and even take a bath while remaining monitored; it's just that our hospital does not have this capability).

In our research and through our Bradley Method classes, JD and I have learned techniques to cope with labor and almost all involve being able to move freely and change positions as needed to encourage an easier labor and easier delivery.  It seems like we're at a deal breaker with our doctor, which just stinks.  If our doc delivered at any other hospital in the area, we could go on the wireless EFM and that would be fine with me.  But we can't, so it's time to investigate other options, even at this late stage in the game.

I contacted a local midwifery practice that delivers at a hospital only 30 or so minutes from us.  The nurse was pretty sure that they'd be able to take me on; I just have to go through a phone consult with one of the midwives to make sure that I'm not high-risk for their practice (I'm not).

Once that's done, they'll want me to meet all of the midwives in the practice, and I need to make sure that I get my records transferred over at least 3 business days before they meet with me.  The nurse highly recommended that I call my doc's office to inquire about their policy for transferring my records and the doc's office manager said, "Well, you have to give us at least 30 days, although we usually get it done before that."  WHAT?!  3 days vs. 30 days.  After looking at my records though, the office manager said it shouldn't take really long to get them together, since I only started with the practice during this pregnancy.

Still, before they start copying the records, they need a letter from me releasing me from their care.  I'm not ready to do that yet, because I don't know if the midwives will take me on.

I also didn't want my doc to know that I was thinking about changing practices until after the decision was made and I could write a letter explaining that I loved her, but that the EFM issue was a deal breaker for me (maybe this would give her leverage with the hospital).  This stinks.

I think I may have to get a little lawyer-y with the office manager and tell her I want a copy of my medical records for my personal records.  It's called HIPPAA, dude, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to get my files cause they're MY files.

Anybody have any other ideas or experience in dealing with this?

Darth Vader GPS

(H/T to We Are THAT Family)