Sick

Welcome to the Vomitorium. Spent all of Tuesday night with my head in a trash can -- couldn't make it to the bathroom. Well, that stopped yesterday morning after I got a couple doses of Emetrol in me (greatest invention known to humankind, did you know that?).

I missed my HSG (scheduled for this morning) and a business trip that I had been looking forward to.

I tried to take a shower this morning, but the water wouldn't come on. What's up with that? Didn't want to use the other bathroom since I'm trying to keep that germ-free for John Dear who will likely get sick anyways since he was up to his elbows in my throwup and The Boy's pee/poop/puke. BTW, The Boy is not sick, these incidents were merely a result of JD forgetting to take him out for his walk and JD feeding The Boy creamy ravioli. Guess what? Dogs don't do well on creamy, greasy food.

I want a grilled cheese sandwich and matzah ball soup. There is nothing good on TV. Going to get another hit of Gatorade now. Also, in case you've gotten this far, do you know why Spell Check no longer works on Blogger? Would like to blog more, but my head is spinning from sitting up for so long.

Read All About It

Well, maybe not all, but this is a good beginning. Finally, a real live newspaper article about male-factor infertility. Read it here in today's Washington Post.

WARNING: The following can be considered a self-centered vent. Read on if you dare.

Not that I begrudge anyone from focusing on female-factor infertility. Far from it. Just that it's nice to read stuff that applies to what you are going through. Even so, I've yet to see a truly comprehensive article or blog dealing with our particular problem so far.* In fact, it just took me a full 15 minutes to find that not-so helpful Wikipedia article.

Additionally, we haven't found a resource (doctor or otherwise) who is able to give us concrete steps on what to do to resolve the situation, beyond the untenable solution of John Dear going off his meds.

*Not that I want us to have another problem, just that I don't know if that is our only barrier to conception.

Your Vote Needed

Please take a moment to watch Robert Stillman's short film, Stars, made for his wife after the birth of their son, who was stillborn at 8 months. If you watch it before tomorrow, please rate it and add it to your favorites for inclusion in the Rumschpringe very short film contest. Remember a kleenex - beautiful movie!

Efficiency Rules

Had my CD 3 monitoring this morning and passed with flying colors! Nurse reports that I'm normal (all evidence to the contrary). Being the efficient person that I am, I scheduled my HSG* for Thursday morning, so I will go to that, then fly down to ATL that afternoon to do a site visit on one of my company's properties {helping to make progress on one of my 101/1001 tasks [look to your left, (also, look to your left)]}.

NB: For those needing help on any abbreviations, please see Mel's wonderful list of explanations or email me. ATL = Atlanta, GA (that abbreviation probably won't show up on Mel's list).

*HSG (hysterosalpingogram) - to paraphrase my doctor, we're gonna shoot some dye up your hoo-hoo, then take x-rays to watch the dye splash out. If the dye doesn't splash out, there's something wrong with your hoo-hoo. For an actual explanation, see here.

Can You Handle the Truth?

So, here's the truth among the lies:
1. My alias is a play on words of my maiden name. Nope, it's a play on my college, created in a fit of school spirit after I graduated.

2. I was so bloodthirsty in watching John Dear play God of War that I actually scared him. All too true, I believe at one point I asked, "why aren't they raping the women?"

3. My cell phone number is one digit off from a federally-indicted drug trafficker and I get lots of late night phone calls from his "clients". Not true (so far as I know), but the jury is still out.

4. I secretly think that Virginia is better than Maryland. Never, never, never. I'm a Marylander forever.

5. I knew where the name Gatorade came from before the commercials. True! I also know where the phrase "hocus pocus" comes from. (Email me if you want the details).

6. My mother and I are no longer allowed to play Scrabble together because we scream at each other so much that a neighbor once called the cops on us. Sorry, no. We do, however, voluntarily refrain from playing this fight-inciting game because my mother is a cheater.

7. I am a nationally-ranked player of Trivial Pursuit and was once requested to audition for Jeopardy. Come on, people. National rankings for Trivial Pursuit? I will, however, take on any and all comers.

8. I taught a class to my company's employees on the required paperwork for reporting suspected terrorist cells in our apartments. Nope, the class was on reporting sex offenders and avoiding bedbugs.

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Yes, I'm weak and cave in to peer pressure. Sue me. Before you do, however, please take a guess at the two truths in the following list.

1. My alias is a play on words of my maiden name.
2. I was so bloodthirsty in watching John Dear play God of War that I actually scared him.
3. My cell phone number is one digit off from a federally-indicted drug trafficker and I get lots of late night phone calls from his "clients".
4. I secretly think that Virginia is better than Maryland.
5. I knew where the name Gatorade came from before the commercials.
6. My mother and I are no longer allowed to play Scrabble together because we scream at each other so much that a neighbor once called the cops on us.
7. I am a nationally-ranked player of Trivial Pursuit and was once requested to audition for Jeopardy.
8. I taught a class to my company's employees on the required paperwork for reporting suspected terrorist cells in our apartments.

Nothing to See Here

My blood test yesterday indicates that I ovulated recently and am not pregnant. Apparently, my cycle just happened to be really, really long. My nurse (hereinfter referred to as "Nurse") discussed with me various reasons for the long length, e.g., illness, travel, stress, all of which I've experienced recently so it made sense.

Nurse stressed that the thing to take away from all this is that I ovulated without medication and will likely get my period in the next week or so without medical intervention. Umm, see that was never my problem, and I told Nurse that. Nurse said that every bit of information helps, and it rules out any problems that even we weren't aware of. Big W to that.

As I always look on the bright side of life, the good news about not being pregnant is that I am free to get my hair colored as it is not looking its best, and I can drink coffee without feeling guilty that I am permanently ruining my child. :)