You Thought I Was Crazy Before?

I'm quite certain that my crazy has expanded exponentially the past few days, but I think I've succeeded at keeping it internalized, or at the very least, keeping the crazy worries to myself.

Feel free to skip this list of lists of current concerns (now in new and improved anal-retentive outline form!), but know that if you skip it, you're missing a lot of mocking and schadenfreude opportunities:

I.)  My House Is A Giant Mess and We're All Gonna Die
    A.)  My house is terribly, terribly cluttered.  Would it be easier to just move?  Forget selling the current house, just moving.
    B.)  We have a second bedroom that is going to be the baby's room, but currently serves as:
           1.)  JD's cave (which he doesn't spend time in since he got his laptop, but is, nonetheless, stuffed with all his crap, including the closet);
           2.)  Main storage area;
           3.)  Guestroom;
         which boils down to making me feel like moving is the better option.
    C.)  Where did all this crap come from?  Firebombing is starting to sound like a good idea.

II.)  I'm an IFer and Am Unable to Relax About Anything
       A.)  General concerns about every twitch and ache, wondering if they spell miscarriage or just gas.
       B.)  Worries that I'm gaining pounds by the second since the only thing that stops nausea is eating.  Saltines are working right now, but isn't that a lot of carbs?  Maybe too many carbs?  I haven't hurled yet, but I've been close a couple times.  The nausea is pretty constant, but most times I can will it to a dull roar.
       C.)  Need to exercise again, but can I really use the Wii Fit?  Will start walking again, damnit.
       D.)  Think that homebirth may be the right thing for me (right now, it all depends on my health and the baby's health), but am concerned about these issues:
              1.) Will I be too loud in our condo while laboring?  (Maybe we should move?)
              2.) Will the midwife be sympathetic to an IF couple and their concerns?
              3.)  Need to reread Nina Planck's Real Food for Mother & Baby, but am in the middle of another book and I should really finish that one first, but every time I'm reading the other book, I'm thinking of how I need to read the Planck book.
      E.)  What if I get so big that I can't wipe my own ass?
      F.)  What if I kill someone because they say/do something stupid?  What if that is JD?  My MIL?  My SIL?  Random passersby?
      G.)  Is there any way for me to lose weight so that I will look like a cute pregnant person with an actual baby bump, and not someone who's just fat and gotten fatter?

III.  Miscellaneous Worries
       A.)  My hair looks bad (need to get my highlights retouched, like NOW) and feels like straw.
       B.)  I don't feel that I look my best right now and I feel sad about that.
       C.)  JD refuses to get me anything on my Amazon wishlist for my birthday because he "doesn't like any of those ideas."  Hello?!  I'm the one who wants those things!  He's a bum.
       D.)  Passover is in a little over a month and I'm screwed.  House needs to get cleaned and need to get rid of four tons (ok, maybe just 4 lbs) of flour and yeast.  Will need to bake bread 24/7.  Must quit job in order to bake bread.
       E.)  Some guy was driving around the John Mayer concert last night with megaphones attached to his car, screaming about how John Mayer is a "bigoted racist."  Does anyone know what this is in reference to?

Other than that, I'm actually being pretty calm about all this.  :)
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