Sunday, February 21, 2010

You Thought I Was Crazy Before?

I'm quite certain that my crazy has expanded exponentially the past few days, but I think I've succeeded at keeping it internalized, or at the very least, keeping the crazy worries to myself.

Feel free to skip this list of lists of current concerns (now in new and improved anal-retentive outline form!), but know that if you skip it, you're missing a lot of mocking and schadenfreude opportunities:

I.)  My House Is A Giant Mess and We're All Gonna Die
    A.)  My house is terribly, terribly cluttered.  Would it be easier to just move?  Forget selling the current house, just moving.
    B.)  We have a second bedroom that is going to be the baby's room, but currently serves as:
           1.)  JD's cave (which he doesn't spend time in since he got his laptop, but is, nonetheless, stuffed with all his crap, including the closet);
           2.)  Main storage area;
           3.)  Guestroom;
         which boils down to making me feel like moving is the better option.
    C.)  Where did all this crap come from?  Firebombing is starting to sound like a good idea.

II.)  I'm an IFer and Am Unable to Relax About Anything
       A.)  General concerns about every twitch and ache, wondering if they spell miscarriage or just gas.
       B.)  Worries that I'm gaining pounds by the second since the only thing that stops nausea is eating.  Saltines are working right now, but isn't that a lot of carbs?  Maybe too many carbs?  I haven't hurled yet, but I've been close a couple times.  The nausea is pretty constant, but most times I can will it to a dull roar.
       C.)  Need to exercise again, but can I really use the Wii Fit?  Will start walking again, damnit.
       D.)  Think that homebirth may be the right thing for me (right now, it all depends on my health and the baby's health), but am concerned about these issues:
              1.) Will I be too loud in our condo while laboring?  (Maybe we should move?)
              2.) Will the midwife be sympathetic to an IF couple and their concerns?
              3.)  Need to reread Nina Planck's Real Food for Mother & Baby, but am in the middle of another book and I should really finish that one first, but every time I'm reading the other book, I'm thinking of how I need to read the Planck book.
      E.)  What if I get so big that I can't wipe my own ass?
      F.)  What if I kill someone because they say/do something stupid?  What if that is JD?  My MIL?  My SIL?  Random passersby?
      G.)  Is there any way for me to lose weight so that I will look like a cute pregnant person with an actual baby bump, and not someone who's just fat and gotten fatter?

III.  Miscellaneous Worries
       A.)  My hair looks bad (need to get my highlights retouched, like NOW) and feels like straw.
       B.)  I don't feel that I look my best right now and I feel sad about that.
       C.)  JD refuses to get me anything on my Amazon wishlist for my birthday because he "doesn't like any of those ideas."  Hello?!  I'm the one who wants those things!  He's a bum.
       D.)  Passover is in a little over a month and I'm screwed.  House needs to get cleaned and need to get rid of four tons (ok, maybe just 4 lbs) of flour and yeast.  Will need to bake bread 24/7.  Must quit job in order to bake bread.
       E.)  Some guy was driving around the John Mayer concert last night with megaphones attached to his car, screaming about how John Mayer is a "bigoted racist."  Does anyone know what this is in reference to?

Other than that, I'm actually being pretty calm about all this.  :)

Now Playing on WJEN:  "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants


MrsSpock said...

I think the guy was talking about the recent Playboy interview where John Mayer said some very derogatory things about Af-Am women. And basically made himself look like the world's biggest jackass.

'Murgdan' said...

I like your thinking, woman. I had many of the same concerns...specifically the ass wiping. Mostly can just tell you I don't think that will just find new angles of attack. It will all work out...somehow, someway. :-)

PJ said...

hahaaaaaaaa at Murgden! Oh my gosh, I had never thought to worry about that!

I'm sending some zen your way. I want you to relax and enjoy the ride. :)

Mkay, I am at least 50 pounds overweight, prepregnancy. I think I might even look skinnier, pregnant. How crazy is that? But honestly, I don't even really care, much. Don't worry about carbs or your weight. Gain like your doctor says, and just roll with it. It's all about getting nutrients to your baby right now.

You can probably go ahead and get highlights. There is mixed opinion out there, but the good thing with highlights is that very little of the chemicals actually touch your scalp. I waited till 10 weeks or so, mostly because of the nausea. Even then, the fumes made me queezy.

I'm excited for you!

Jem said...

U crack me up, girl!

What happened with your Sat Beta?

Meghan said...

I'm guessing this means the beta yesterday was equally awesome???

Eat your carbs and love every second of it. Because you earned some serious carb and ice cream eating time. I found that bagels with peanut butter kept the "omg, I'm going to puke my brains out" feelings to a minimum. And I liked to tell myself that the peanut butter helped with the protien (which, btw, I don't think I ate a single meat based protien until 11 or 12 weeks)


S.I.F. said...

I think IF MAKES you worry about everything. Like that's it's job... I find myself anxious about things I never would have worried about before. It's annoying, and then I worry about that!

Hillary said...

Eeek!! I am so happy for you that your betas are looking good and you even have some of these worries. It sounds stressful and scary but wonderful....there is a baby growing inside of you!!

mybumpyjourney said...

Mayer is crazy. He called his penis a white supremacist because he doesn't like to sleep with black chicks...crazy guy.

You crack me heck up. My husband always buys me the first four or 5 things on my Amazon wish list at Christmas. I always try and wait and put what I really want last...or delete it if it has been on there a while and re-add it if it is farther down the list. LOL!!!! He is so predictable.

I like your line of thinking on the moving though. It would be much easier huh? My husband thought that maybe he should change jobs and life would be easier..and ALL I could think about was unpacking again. Rearranging. I almost murdered him. LOL!

I have NO advice for anything pregnancy related. Sorry!

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sonja said...

John Mayer is a moron. I am sure you can google the transcript (or the most ridiculous quotes) from the Playboy interview he gave. He sucks.

So far I can still wipe my own ass while pregnant with quads. Shaving my legs, however? Yeah, that's almost over ... I almost topple over trying. I will keep you posted on the ass thing. ;)

LJ said...

I embrace the crazy!

OnceIwas said...

I lauged out loud reading your blog, because I kniw that'll be me if I'm ever pregnant.

Unrelated: I love that song!

~Jess said...

I second embracing the crazy! Why not; you've got the PERFECT excuse.

I'm all for moving....or at least being on a TV show and having them do all the work :-)

What helps/helped me, is writing a lost of all the things that need to get done and then prioritize them.

I'm so SO happy for you guys!

kimbosue said...

Crazy pregnant brain has taken over!

Add all these things to your listy on the left and work on them as you can!

Jen said...

Well if craziness is any indicator of a sticky Bean, then you are all set!!!

Clare said...

You make me laugh!! I am in the same boat with you. The only thing that stops the nausea is eating. So yup I eat the closest thing to hand.. if I get hungry the nausea is real bad. I brought a load of raspberries yesterday ( a load) and eating them with yoghurt and honey has been a lifesaver... though choc chip cookies have been just as effective. :)

Paz said...

pregnancy becomes you.

theclam said...

For some reason Bloglines has not been updating your updates so I missed all of this - WOW on the repeat beta!

This looks like it's IT :)))


Lut C. said...

O, my fellow worrier!

I sneak peeked forward to your latest posts, and am glad I can congratulate you on the birth of your son.
By now you know the worrying never ends! Personnally, I'm ok with that, and am sure you are too!

(Arrived from the Crème de la Crème list)