Spotting, Counting, Teething?

I had very light spotting this morning.  Freaked but figured it was more than likely nothing.  Still, went downstairs to double-check Dr. Google and called my nurse at Giant Fertility Clinic.  I've decided that I'm faced with too many decisions.  :)

Here's the scenario:
Nurse's voicemail says she'll be in from 7 AM to 4 PM.  (It's currently 6:45).  You can leave a message or if it's urgent call the main line.

The main line voicemail says they don't answer the phone till 8 AM, but if you have a medical emergency, call 911, or if it's not an emergency but urgent that you speak to someone, you can call the answering service who will page the doctor on call.

So, you've already got this web of choices that you have to go through when you are freaking out but kind of maintaining but kind of freaking.

You can:
A) Leave a message on Nurse's voice mail.
B) Leave a message on main line voice mail.
C) Wait for main line to answer their phone.
D) Call 911.
E) Call answering service and have on-call doc paged.

Where's the line to reach someone that answers in one ring and immediately tells you it's fine, no worries?

Well, I left a message on Nurse's line and she called me back a little after 8.  She thinks it's probably nothing but is going to have me come in for an u/s on Friday as opposed to waiting till the 30th.  I figure if she was really worried, she'd be having me come in today, right away, not waiting for several days.  I'm basically calm now.  No more spotting since this morning.

Sort of related only not question about dates: I'm following the convention of dating since LMP; I think Nurse/GFC is dating from dIUI.  Following my convention, I was 6 weeks this past Saturday.  Following Nurse's convention, I'm not 6 weeks till this Friday.

It doesn't really make a difference except it totally does because let's say someone's family was planning on going on a D-s-n-y cruise and they won't let you on at 24 weeks (like, they'll literally prevent you from getting on the boat) and by my count, I'm 24 weeks the day that we go.  But by Nurse's count, I wouldn't be 24 weeks till the middle of the trip (in which case, I don't know if they'd let me on).  And this probably doesn't matter anyways because: a) the count that really matters is my midwifery practice cause I won't be with GFC past 8 weeks (G-D willing) and it's more likely than not that they will go by LMP, and b) remember how sick I was last time?  I didn't get off the Zofran pump till I was 26 weeks.  Combining my severe motion sickness with hyperemesis?  No thank you.
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In other news, LM is fine.  Whatever fever he might have had was gone by the time we picked him up from daycare.  We took it easy Wednesday night and during the day on Thursday (had to keep him home due to daycare policy).  He was fine by Thursday afternoon.  I suspect it was just a teething fever.

Batting Over 1000

I had my repeat beta (#3 overall) and we got a 1455!  Nurse says we're "off the charts wonderful" and no more blood tests needed.  Hooray!

Now, we just have to wait till our u/s.  Nurse pushed it off a bit (to the 30th) to up the odds that we'll see a heartbeat.  So, we'll just be on pins and needles till then.

It stinks to have to go in so often for the blood tests, but it really is nice to get that validation every other day that things are going well.

Nausea is increasing.  Blech.

JD just called.  LM is running a 100° fever at daycare right now.  JD is going to pick him up and we'll all meet up at the house.  I'm hoping this is just a tooth coming in or too much activity and not the beginnings of something yucky.

The Dog Ate My Posts and Other Excuses

Remember how I was totally going to be back on board with this whole posting thing?  Yeah, that happened.

I'm here for right now, and rather than set myself up for failure, I'm just going to say that I'm posting right now, and if I happen to post again, cool.

Here's the news:

A.)  I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings and started to lose weight, thus proving that just paying for their program but not actually attending their meetings still has some beneficial affect on your health.  (Or it could be that I'm continuing to incorporate more exercise, better fats and a wider variety of fruits and vegetables into my daily life, but I prefer my first analysis).

B.)  We started back on the TTC bandwagon for #2.  Did back-to-back dIUIs over Memorial Day Weekend (yeah, we got to the beach Friday night and had to leave Saturday afternoon in order to be back home in time for Sunday's procedure).  BFN.

C.)  We decided to skip the next cycle so that we could have an actual vacation over July 4th.  It turns out that didn't really matter as I had my shortest cycle on record, and got AF while we were on vacation.

D.)  Did our 2nd round at the end of July.  Found out this past Thursday - BFP.  (I know, way to bury the lead, huh?)   First beta: 121.  For comparison purposes, LM's first beta was 57.1.  My repeat beta (yesterday, 96 hours between) was 573.  We're due for a third beta tomorrow and based on that, they'll decide when they want to do an ultrasound.

E.)  Yes, I'm feeling sick and dizzy.  Based on my pregnancy with LM, I've got 2 weeks before all hell breaks loose.  As I told Mel, it's a good thing I was able to retain my amateur status for the Olympics, because I'd like to medal in something, even if it's just nausea.

My higher BP numbers this week have landed me on modified bedrest while we wait for Baby to show up.  No shopping, no putting away of messes and lots of sitting being done around here.  While I grow into my couch, I thought I'd share with you some examples of the political ads in our area.
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How well do we know Jack Smith?

We recently learned that Jack Smith plays golf with Satan every single Sunday.

Jack Smith kills puppies for fun.

And last week, Jack Smith said that he hated America.

We can't vote for Jack Smith, cause we don't know Jack.
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Jimmy Jones says that he's one of us, but did you know that his real name was Vladimir Lenin?

As a Congressman, Jones sponsored a bill that would end life as we know it.

Not only is Jimmy Jones a Democrat, he also hangs out with people in the Democrat Party.

Sorry, Jimmy, you're not one of us at all.
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Any crazy political ads being shown in your area?

Surely I Must Be on TV

Why?  Because this morning, I used a seat belt to strap in a jug of pee to my car.  I'm on Candid Camera, right?  Where are the cameras?

One of the midwives called with the results this afternoon.  My pee is perfect (creatinine levels look good and protein levels are low) -- go me.

After the pee drop-off, I went to the store to buy a digital camera, thus guaranteeing that I will find the one that I can't find in my home.  Now to make sure that we remember to bring the camera with us...

I got home to find that all of the sprinkler heads have been replaced in my home.  Yay!  I had gone first thing this morning to the building manager to ask if our unit could be prioritized for the work.  Apparently, we were the first unit done today.  Thank goodness.  I believe the contractors have to come back tomorrow to check for leaks, so I can't put anything away yet, but there's light at the end of the tunnel now.

40 Weeks

Well, we're here.  No baby yet, but tons of excitement.

Early Saturday morning, I was having a lot of "contractions" that were very close together (1:30 apart for about an hour).  I knew it couldn't be the real thing because the contractions were unpleasant but not painful.  (After conferring today with my midwife and a friend who is a doula, it's likely that the contractions were my cervix effacing as opposed to dilating). 

What was worse than the contractions was the nausea.  It was back in full force.  It's been so long since I've had nausea (and it was also 3 AM), that I couldn't remember what to do and I am the Nausea Queen!  My body's response to any stimulus is nausea!  I was embarrassed for myself.  After finally realizing I needed to eat, I had a few small pretzels and made myself a cuppa tea.  The pretzels didn't help much, but once I started drinking the tea, my stomach seemed to settle down.

I've worried that the nausea would return for labor, and I guess I have confirmation now that it will.  I've spoken with both JD and our doula about this concern, stressing the need to make sure that I'm hydrating enough so that we can avoid the need for IV hydration.  We're also going to make sure to pack a few things that help me with nausea to bring in to the hospital.

So, that brings us to today.  At the midwives' office today, my blood pressure was pretty high for me (142/90).  I had my first cervical check -- one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.  I was 50% effaced and not dilated at all (maybe that's why the check was so painful).  Baby's heartrate was steady in the 150s.  A second bp check was still high, so I got sent to the hospital for a non-stress test and bloodwork.

I got hooked up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff and the nurse had me lay down flat on my back on the gurney.  I wasn't able to sleep (there were so many alarm bells going off all over the place - not from me) but I was able to just lay down and rest.  They had me laying down for so long that my left hip started hurting (as it has done throughout the last couple months), so I managed to flip myself over to my side.  Apparently, my bp stayed high the whole time until I turned to my side, when it came down immediately into the normal range and stayed there.  Yeah, so I guess what they say about avoiding laying on your back when you're heavily pregnant is true and maybe the labor/delivery nurse should know that.  You know, just maybe.

My bloodwork and urine dip came back normal, so the midwife thought this was probably just pregnancy-induced hypertension.  I think it was life-induced hypertension, as they are currently replacing all of the sprinkler heads in our building, and they were supposed to come this morning and tomorrow* and you have to move everything 2 feet away from each sprinkler head so my house looks like a tornado went through it, and it's a sucky thing to go through when you're in full-on nesting mode.  There's been a couple of crying jags due to the stress and emotions and the drama of it all.  Of course, the contractors didn't even show up today.  I'm going to go down to the office tomorrow morning and see if our unit can be put on the priority list to get done because we can't clean up the place until after they are done and it's at least a 2-day process.

So, I get to do a 24-hour urine catch (hooray) and go back in to see the midwives on Thursday.

The hospital was packed today (Snowpacalypse babies in da house!) and triage was especially swamped.  Given the crowd, they are booking an induction date for me in case we need it.  I'm hoping we don't.

*The scheduling of the sprinkler work was not my idea.  The process started around Labor Day and they should have gotten to our unit by the end of September.  Unfortunately, there have been a lot of hiccups in the process and they've only gotten to us this week.

39 Weeks

I'm alive and fine.  Baby is still on the inside.  I just haven't had much to say in the last month.  I think about stuff to write and feel terribly guilty for not posting more often, but it's like I only have little things to say and then it's not worth it and then I go hide.

What's been happening?

-My office had an extremely low-key shower for me with cake and a few gifts.  It was really nice and I appreciated my co-workers accommodating my wishes about not having a huge blowout party.  These gifts happened to be the first baby items that we brought into our house, so that was a big thrill too.

-My sister and my BFF threw a Celebration of Awesome for me in lieu of a shower.  This was a gathering of the women in my family at a local hotel for a high tea and we had a wonderful time.

-I have it on good authority from several people that based on the way that I'm carrying/the baby's heartrate/the date of conception/the angle of Venus that the baby is definitely a boy/girl.  I am confident that the baby is a boy/girl.

-The baby dropped about 2 weeks ago in order to spare me the horrible heartburn (or, cause you know that's how anatomy works) and now I just feel like a 10 lb. (uneducated guesstimate, whatever it's heavy) weight is swinging between my legs when I'm walking.

-In other "Holy Crap, This Might Be Real, But Let's Not Tempt Fate" news, I have set up the Pack 'n' Play in our bedroom and my sister's boyfriend, a fireman, came over to install our car seat for us.  I am now driving around with an infant seat in my car.  I am praying that the fates are appeased by JD and I stubbing our toes on the much-larger-than-it-seemed-in-the-store Pack 'n' Play every time we walk by.  Prior to getting the car seat installed, we took the car to the car wash and they vaccuumed out the inside of the car and then we got to ride through the car wash and it's so beautiful now I don't even want to drive it.  Yes, I'm 5.

-Our house is a mess.  We are hopeless clutterers.  One day the crap will drown me in a tidal wave of junk mail and spare computer cables.  JD does not think my solution of burning down the house is a good idea (probably because he refuses to abandon our clutter-filled ways and/or wants to avoid being labeled an "arsonist."  He's small-minded like that).  Also, the front of the house has a weird smell that I'm pretty sure is not me because wouldn't I then smell the smell wherever I went and I don't so I think it's something in the house.  The smell might be from our houseplant; I don't think it's from stinkbugs cause they have a different smell.  I don't think we're hoarders, but I'm not as diligent as I could be about cleaning up and maintaining and JD won't do anything involving cleaning unless I'm cleaning at the exact same time (sometimes not even then).  I haven't found a solution yet, but I am ever hopeful.

-I love the show "Fringe."  I feel so good knowing that I hung in there through the stupid period because the show would come back to a place of even more awesome and it did.  I don't know why I'm still watching "Grey's" as it entered the stupid period long ago and it looks as if it'll never return.

-Will try to post more soon, even if it's just little things.  I've been following everyone's blogs, just not commenting very often.

50/50

Dizziness and nausea started last night and continued all through most of the day today.  Blech.  I'll mention it to my OB when I see her tomorrow, but she had told me that it was possible that the nausea might come back, so I'm not sure there's much to do beyond taking some Zofran if I need to.  (Also, her office called me today to let me know that the copy of my files was ready for pickup.  Yay!)

On the good side though, I was able to start cooking for the High Holidays.  Yay me!  I mixed together two batches of MyMahtha's Honey Walnut Coin Cookies and put them in the freezer.  I'll defrost the dough and bake off the cookies next week.

More on Records and EFM Stuff

So, I didn't have to get all lawyer-y on my doc's office - I just asked if a letter requesting my records for my own use would be sufficient, and they said yes.  Thank goodness.  I faxed in that letter yesterday afternoon, and I plan to follow up with them first thing tomorrow morning.  (I'll be picking up the records myself and delivering them by hand to the midwives' office to avoid any screw ups.  Well, to avoid screw ups by other people -- never discount my own ability to mess things up).  After getting off the phone, I basked in my utter rebelness, did a victory dance and told my assistant that "I fight for the forces of justice and goodness."

In answer to a few commenters' questions regarding the availability of a compromise with my doc, unfortunately, there really isn't one.  My doc wants me to be on continuous monitoring from the second that I walk in the hospital doors.  She wasn't even thrilled with the idea of my getting off of the monitor for bathroom breaks, let alone only being on the monitor for 10 or 20 minutes out of every hour.  Also, as I mentioned yesterday, at my hospital, if you're on the monitor, you're in the bed, and that's that.

I've got some issues with the whole idea of continuous monitoring in general (e.g., the monitors are notoriously inaccurate, and are even more so for overweight women), but am willing to do continuous monitoring with a wireless system, that would enable me to move freely during labor, while giving my care provider the information that they would like.

Hopefully, this will all work itself out in the coming days.

A Change Is Gonna Come - We Think

I saw my doc on Monday for my 30-week (yikes!) appointment.  Everything looks good, and I even managed to lose 4 lbs.  The weight loss is likely due to a slight return of nausea over the past two-week period.  My doc had warned me previously that this could occur in women who've had hyperemesis and that I should take the Zofran pills on an as-needed basis.  Most of my nausea was eased by a cup of tea and longer naps; there was really only one day where I needed the Zofran to get me out of the cycle.

I also went over our preferences for the birth with my doc.  JD and I are both hoping to have as "natural" a birth as possible, i.e., one that is as unmedicated as possible.  Our doc was mostly willing to work within our preferences, but absolutely balked on the question of external electronic fetal monitoring (EFM).  Apparently, the policy of our hospital and of our doctor (who only works out of this one hospital) is to have the mother on continuous EFM from the time she walks in.  At our hospital, this means that mom cannot get out of bed while she's in labor.  (Other hospitals have the capability to do wireless EFM, so that moms can move around, change positions, and even take a bath while remaining monitored; it's just that our hospital does not have this capability).

In our research and through our Bradley Method classes, JD and I have learned techniques to cope with labor and almost all involve being able to move freely and change positions as needed to encourage an easier labor and easier delivery.  It seems like we're at a deal breaker with our doctor, which just stinks.  If our doc delivered at any other hospital in the area, we could go on the wireless EFM and that would be fine with me.  But we can't, so it's time to investigate other options, even at this late stage in the game.

I contacted a local midwifery practice that delivers at a hospital only 30 or so minutes from us.  The nurse was pretty sure that they'd be able to take me on; I just have to go through a phone consult with one of the midwives to make sure that I'm not high-risk for their practice (I'm not).

Once that's done, they'll want me to meet all of the midwives in the practice, and I need to make sure that I get my records transferred over at least 3 business days before they meet with me.  The nurse highly recommended that I call my doc's office to inquire about their policy for transferring my records and the doc's office manager said, "Well, you have to give us at least 30 days, although we usually get it done before that."  WHAT?!  3 days vs. 30 days.  After looking at my records though, the office manager said it shouldn't take really long to get them together, since I only started with the practice during this pregnancy.

Still, before they start copying the records, they need a letter from me releasing me from their care.  I'm not ready to do that yet, because I don't know if the midwives will take me on.

I also didn't want my doc to know that I was thinking about changing practices until after the decision was made and I could write a letter explaining that I loved her, but that the EFM issue was a deal breaker for me (maybe this would give her leverage with the hospital).  This stinks.

I think I may have to get a little lawyer-y with the office manager and tell her I want a copy of my medical records for my personal records.  It's called HIPPAA, dude, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to get my files cause they're MY files.

Anybody have any other ideas or experience in dealing with this?

Overachiever

This week, my doc sent me in for an estimated fetal weight scan.  (Acause of the two bellays, fundal height measurements aren't exactly accurate).  The result?  This kid is in the 91st percentile for weight, at an estimated 3 lbs., 6 oz. at 28 weeks.  My mom said her grandchild is an overachiever.

If the baby maintains this rate of growth, we're looking at about a 9 lb. baby.  Yes, I am growing the next Alex Ovechkin.

This large size (assuming that these estimates are accurate, many times they are not) doesn't bother me and I was not all that surprised.  I'm large and was a bigger baby (over 8 lbs.) and my siblings were both bigger babes as well (sis was the same as me; brother was over 9 lbs).  My only concern here is that I not be pushed into an unnecessary induction or c-section just because of my weight or the weight of the baby.  I'd greatly prefer to have labor start on its own and have an unmedicated birth.  Obviously, if me or the baby is in danger, we do what's necessary, even if that includes meds and/or a c-section.  I plan to sit down with my doc when I see her in 2 weeks, to discuss our preferences and how that will work with her practices and that of the hospital.

The good news is I've really been trying to do all that I can do to help us have that unmedicated birth that we want.  I've been walking every day and doing my Bradley-recommended exercises most days.  I've been pretty good at getting the right amount of sleep.  I'm drinking lots of water.  I'm doing really well at controlling my portions and making sure I'm eating good foods (ex: I'm having yogurt almost every day which has really helped with the heartburn).  I passed the 1-hour glucose test, yay!  I successfully limited my weight gain to 3 lbs. this month, yay!

This month, I'd like to keep my exercise up and work on doing the Bradley exercises every day.  I'm going to work on making sure I include a 20-minute nap at lunchtime, so I'm not worried about falling asleep on the drive home from work.  I'm also going to try and get back to meal planning, to make sure that I'm eating a good variety of proteins and fruits and veggies.  (Yeah, including grains has never been a problem for me).

Last, and definitely not least...JD got a job!  He started this week and is feeling very positive about what he'll be doing and the people with whom he'll be working.  We're both hoping that this job will be a good fit for him -- something that will be more of a longer-term situation.

I'm hoping to post more often than I have been, not only about the baby and how we're doing with cleaning out what will be the baby's room, but also with regard to how we're doing with routines, meals and exercise.  Thank you all for sticking with me through these lean-posting times.

27 Weeks

Just wanted to update on some stuff, so this post will be all over the place.

So, last week I thought I was having preterm labor, but it turns out that I was just on the toilet for so long that my digestive system started cramping.  I'm figuring (from the soreness) that I did the equivalent of 13 million situps, so you know, it's all good.

My mom and BFF have been helping me declutter my house most weekends and we've really been accomplishing a lot.  No before pictures, just imagine Theo Huxtable's room when he was in junior high.  I now have access to a sliding glass door that had been blocked with stuff, and we can now see carpet in the bedrooms!  We threw out a ton of stuff and were able to donate many huge bags of clothing and household items to Goodwill.  Mom and BFF each deserve gold stars!

Work has been really stressful lately, as I try to complete Mission Impossible.  Today I just completely broke down in tears and it was hard for me to calm down.  I think that I have been trying to do too much all by myself, and I really needed to ask for help earlier.  I now have some more help on the project and my boss was able to relax on the deadline when he realized just how much work this mission comprises.

I gained 6 pounds from Month 5 to Month 6, and my doc really wanted me to make sure that I not gain as much in subsequent months.  I've been trying to be really conscious of my food choices and increase my activity level, and I think I've only gained 2 lbs this month!  Hopefully, I can keep making good choices the rest of the pregnancy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday!  Yay her!  We got her an awesome gift, if I do say so myself; I just hope that it arrives on time.  :)

70,000

No, it's not the number of days since I posted.  It's the mileage on my car right now.  I was able to watch it turn from 69,999 to 70,000 on my way to work this morning.  It was a thrill.  :)

Nothing much going on here; I think that's a good thing.  Currently at 25 weeks and baby has decided that if it presses its fist as hard as it can against the side of my belly for an extended period of time, that it will "break on through to the other side."  So far the baby isn't listening to me, so I may be giving birth to a teenager.  Here's some bullet points for your amusement:

-Last weekend, we went up to see JD's family and, true to form, my SIL could not keep herself from making some truly obnoxious and hateful statements.  As I told JD later, this is sad in two ways.  First, the family is close and I'd love to have a good relationship with SIL.  I'm settling for guarded but cordial, and the fact that I'm settling stinks.  Second, if it were any other person, I'd just have nothing to do with them, but because this is JD's sister, I can't just totally avoid her or think of her as having died in some freak napalming incident.  That stinks too.

-This week, JD and I visited our preferred choice for a daycare center and everything went well.  Something had to, eventually, right?  I mean, it's the law of averages.

-Today, the junk company is coming to take away some large pieces of furniture that were living in what will be the baby's room.  The company recycles or donates the vast majority of the stuff that they collect, so I felt good knowing that the usable things (as opposed to JD's desk made of sawdust which won't last a move of 2 inches) wouldn't just end up in a landfill.  I would've preferred to have Goodwill or a similar organization get the stuff directly, but the charities in my area won't pickup from an apartment.  I figure I'm paying for the convenience of getting it all out at one time.

-I also had a freak out this week while researching pediatricians.  Saw the schedule for recommended vaccinations and my eyes almost fell out of my head.  It really seems like a lot of shots.  I got The Vaccine Book from the library, so I'll be going through that to start some initial research.  I'm also going to schedule an info session with the pediatrician group near us that I've found.  I'm pro-vaccine, particularly considering that the baby will be in daycare, but I'm concerned about the multiple shots for multiple diseases in very short periods of time.  Opinions/suggestions welcome here.

-The other thing I've started working on this week is getting us and The Boy signed up for some training on introducing dog and baby.  I still need to make appointments for the 1-hour glucose test (hooray) and a fetal scan at 28 weeks to get an estimated weight.  This last scan was recommended by my doctor as measuring fundal height on me (and my upper and lower bellies) won't be at all accurate for judging the size of the baby.

I'm being swamped at work, so I'll end this here.  Hope y'all are doing well.

Untethered

I'm writing this post without my constant companion of the last few months, my sub-Q pump providing anti-nausea meds.  Over the past several weeks, I had been weaning off the pump, hoping that the hyperemesis would have abated this late in the pregnancy.

My weaning went slower than the averages, driven by a few bouts of severe nausea from which I had to recover before dialing down the meds another level.  One of these bouts happened last week during a tour of our hospital's maternity ward, where I passed out and, eventually, vomited.  It sucked to pass out, but if you're gonna have to do that, where else but in the hospital?  We were able to do a "test drive."  :)  (The nurses checked out my blood pressure, which was fine, and the baby's heart rate, also fine.  After a consultation with my OB, we concluded that I hadn't eaten enough prior to the tour, and that the heat and humidity was getting to me.  I was discharged a couple hours after I checked in).

My insurance company had been working actively to get me off the pump since I reached 12 weeks, and had only dialed up the shrieking in the past few days.  Now, at least, getting me off the pump makes sense, since: a) my hyperemesis has abated, b) my nausea is, for the most part, under control, c) I'm no longer having issues with dehydration, since I'm able to eat and drink, and d) my weight has finally stabilized after a way too rapid weight loss in my first trimester (total weight loss of 45 pounds in 12 weeks; 35 of those happened in only 4 weeks).

So, I'm off the pump.  It's pretty cool, and I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll be able to stay off of it.  :)

People Who Hate Me: The Fat Haters

Welcome back to another edition of People Who Hate Me, now with more hate.  Who's hating me this week?  The incompetent sonographer (we'll call her "Dum Dum") and her azhat supervisory doc at the testing site for my week 20 scan.  Why?  Because I'm fat, have bones and require the Zofran pump for my hyperemesis.

As you know, I'm receiving Zofran through a subcutaneous pump.  Here's how it works (in non-technical language):

1) Infusion site: This is a plastic disc about the size of a quarter that sticks to my belly.  The disc has a spiked, fixed tube on it that goes into my skin (hence: subcutaneous).

2) Tube: The disc is connected to a thin, 2 ft. long tube that attaches to a syringe of meds on the pump.

3) Pump: The pump is about the size of a remote control and you wear it in a purse-like bag with an arm strap.  You put a syringe of meds in the top of the pump and the pump's computer pushes on the syringe plunger, thus pushing the meds through the tube and into me, stopping me from doing my never-ending Exorcist imitation.

So, I can't stop the meds and remove the site for you, Dum Dum.  You are not worth continuous vomit.  You'll have to work around it.  This totally threw her.

Also throwing her was that I was fat.  Now, I am aware that extra padding does make it a little more difficult to do a sonogram; it does not, however, make a scan impossible.  In addition, I don't think it was my fat, I think it was Dum Dum's lack of knowledge of anatomy.  See, no matter how much you shove on my hip bone with the transducer, the bone will not move out of the way.  It's bone, that's how that works.

After Dum Dum finished the scan, we were sent back to speak with her azhat supervisory doctor.  He told us, "Your baby is really big.  It's something we're worried about and you should be too.  You're going to have to have a c-section because you're so big and because the baby is so big.  In fact, we've included a note on our report that the scan was technically difficult due to your fatness."

Fine, asshole, but is the baby okay?  Are all the parts in the right place?  Are all the parts there that are supposed to be there?  Oh, yes.  The baby is perfectly healthy.  F-ck you, you prick.

Thank goodness I was seeing my doctor that afternoon anyways.  She's awesome and was like, "don't listen to that asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about.  You're measuring a few days ahead, the baby is a little larger than average (baby is 14 oz.) and you're not automatically going to do anything.  You're only at week 20.  The baby is fine.  Your weight looks great and your blood pressure is fine.  We can all calm down."  I love my doctor.

19 Weeks and the Ongoing Saga That Is JD's Search for a Job

Nothing really going on here, so I haven't felt that much motivation to update.  My nurse insists that what I think is gas is actually the baby.  I think that at least half of what I think is gas is, in fact, actually gas.  Who knows?

I'm still on the Zofran pump, but I'm in the middle of weaning off of it.  I seem to be doing ok on the weaning, so hopefully that continues and I can get off the pump soon.

JD is still without employment or a plan.  Some history: JD told me (in response to questioning, at some point in the last year) that he was happiest and most fulfilled in terms of work when he was programming, as opposed to the more computer administration stuff that he's been doing for the last several years.  To me, that says that what JD should be doing is programming.  Find the work that makes you happy.

Now, in our area, in order to find a job as a programmer, you need to know and have experience in Java.  JD does not have this.  Why?  1) He says that Java is a stupid, inefficient language.  2) He doesn't want to go to school anymore, he doesn't want to be graded, he doesn't want to be "judged" (his words).

Here's my trying to answer as rationally as possible to his BS:
1) If all you speak is Latin and everyone else in the world speaks English, wouldn't it make sense to learn English so that you could communicate with others?  I told JD that it was as if his college degree was in being a Roman gladiator.  Well, there are no more jobs available for Roman gladiators, so you've gotta do something about that.

2) There are few jobs or even kinds of jobs available that don't require some type of continuing education or need to learn new skills or improve upon current skills in your life.  Really, I think that if you foreclose any job that would require new learning, you limit yourself to retail.  I don't think that JD would enjoy or even be successful at a job in retail, but assuming that's what he wants to do, fine.  Now, apply for jobs.

After meeting with his therapist yesterday, JD came up with another reason for not taking a class: "It's not that you need to know Java, it's that you need to have work experience with Java."

OK, well, you're not going to get any work experience with Java if you don't freakin' know it, so why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?

He seemed yesterday as if he was on the precipice of agreeing to sign up for classes.  This morning, he said that he would be doing job searching today and when I asked about the classes, he said that he was still thinking about it.  When I asked what his therapist had said, JD told me that his therapist thinks he should "volunteer and network to figure out what he [JD] wants to do."  This is utter BS.  JD knows what he wants to do.  He wants to do nothing all day long.

As my Fairy Godmother once told me, "The problem with responding to JD in a rational manner is that he is not in his rational brain.  This is all emotional stuff for him."  But what do I do?  Rant and scream and cry?  That doesn't change his lazy, irresponsible ass either!

Any suggestions/comments you might have would be appreciated.

Two and a Half Hours

Which of the following best describes two and a half hours?

A.)  The average amount of time Jendeis spends at any one point in the bathroom nowadays.
B.)  The amount of time Jendeis and her mom spent at Mega Baby Superstore just looking at strollers.
C.)  The amount of time in a day that Jendeis is not either eating or sleeping.
D.)  All of the above.

Of course, D is the correct answer, but can you believe that B is correct?  Two and a half hours, people!  Just strollers!!

Based on prior experience, the plan was that me and my mom go initially and narrow the list down to a couple of finalists.  Then, I'll bring JD in and we'll make the final pick together.

Thank goodness that it was just me and my mom. I'm quite certain that if JD and I had gone together it would have turned into some sort of pregnancy/hunger hormone-induced steel cage match.  One of us would not have come out alive.

So, my mom and I spent two and half hours discussing the pros and cons and operations of several strollers amongst ourselves and with a very helpful (and patient) saleswoman, Shari.  The worst part of it is that despite all that time learning how to collapse the strollers and put them back together and put in the infant seat and take out the infant seat that I've completely forgotten all that information and will have to learn it all over again. 


Have decided that I'll need to make instructional stickers for us to emblazon all over the things to remind us how to do it.  Alternatively (or maybe in addition), I want Shari to make a YouTube video that I can refer to every time I have to do something with the stroller.  That's reasonable and not at all insane, right?  Right?

Fate, Don't Listen

Fate, don't listen to me, because I'm actively not tempting you right now.  The nausea has been improving.  So long as I eat something small every 1.5 - 2 hours, I seem to feel OK.  Bathroom issues also seem to be under control.  (Hey Fate!  I'm not tempting you or counting chickens or anything similar, so go somewhere else, OK?)

If things keep going like this, we're going to start weaning me off the pump this coming Monday.  We're going to wean really slowly, so I'm hoping that will minimize my body's need to feel vomitous 24/7.

Since things have been improving, I'm also trying to get back onto vitamins.  We're going with 2 Flintstones a day -- today I had Fred and Wilma.  Flintstones are especially appropriate in my case as, when I was growing up, I believed that the Flintstones were based on my parents (minus the talking prehistoric animals).

In cleaning the house progress, we removed two plastic shopping bags from the Room and went through them.  I designated what should be given away, trashed/shredded, or kept.  Those piles are currently in the living room.  This seems terribly inefficient.  We used to have two shopping bags full of stuff in a room -- now we have piles of stuff all over the living room.  I'm unclear as to when exactly we'll be removing these piles, so I'm thinking this ain't as good as it could be. 

Going to go put in a load of laundry, then we're going to get a new cooling pad for the laptop.  It's an exciting life, people!

The Weekly B*tch

15 weeks today - things are pretty much the same with the never-ending nausea.  I've been feeling really sick over the last 5 days, so my nurse threw the weaning plan out the window.  (Thank G-D).  The big difference here is that I have finally moved back to our place.  It was tough leaving Mom & Dad's, but it's nice to sleep in my own bed and watch HGTV 24/7.

Lemme vent: I'm getting a little concerned with peeved at resentful of (all of those) conpeevsentful of JD and his lack of job/not doing much around the house.  He has now been sleeping for most of the day.  When he's not sleeping, he's playing around on the computer.  To give him credit, he has been fetching stuff/food for me the past few days.  I'm just not thrilled with having to put up with his whiny, I don't feel good BS.  Given the history of the past few years, I feel like JD is not allowed to be sick for the rest of our lives.  I'm willing to be reasonable (ha ha) though and state that he is not allowed to be sick for at least the next year and a half.

I was able to bring up the issue of cleaning out the 2nd bedroom (what will be the baby's room).  Right now, that room is absolutely stuffed with clutter.  We're not really at Hoarders' level, but it wouldn't be a challenge to get there.  My mother came up with the following idea: JD and I set a deadline for ourselves to clean out all the stuff.  Once we hit the deadline, Goodwill comes in and gets everything that's left.  As expected, JD the Hoarder wasn't too thrilled with the idea that his stuff might be given away, but that's the point of the whole idea.  You get rid of your own crap, or it will be gotten rid of for you.  We haven't come to an agreement yet, but I feel good that there's been an opening salvo.

Still Alive

Thanks to all those who've been checking up on me.  Nothing much has changed around here -- still at my parents' (I seem to experience a backslide in health (not on purpose) every time I try to move back to my own home), still on the pump (back at my elevated level of meds after a disastrous experience trying to wean off last week prompted by my DA (dumb a**) insurance company), still crazy after all these years.

My days are pretty similar from one day to the next: eat oatmeal, drink water, read the paper, eat pears (diced or mashed; did you know pears have tons of fiber and can be used instead of prunes for relieving constipation?), check my work email, drink water, take The Boy and myself on a 30-minute walk, eat a handful of mini-pretzels, read book/magazine, drink more water, play online Sudoku/jigsaw puzzles, have JD make me a cuppa tea, nap, feel sick, realize I haven't eaten for 90 minutes and that's why I'm sick, eat a piece of raisin toast, drink more water, do another online puzzle while listening to a C-SPAN podcast, eat dinner with family, watch the Caps or 24, eat Jello, sleep.  Pooping is an event worthy of cheers and fistbumps.  This is sad.  I am hopeful that I will be able to do some short stints (a couple hours at a time) back at work next week.

Overall though, I'm doing much better now than I was a few weeks ago.  I'm at 14 weeks today and we're going to try weaning me off the pump again in about a week and a half.  I'm hopeful that that will go better than last week, but am pretty Zen about it.  If I have to stay on the pump, so be it.

Now Playing on WJEN: "Entering Bootytown" from the Music & Lyrics soundtrack.