WJEN - on your FM dial

A recent conversation (before the beta)...

Jendeis: You know how I hear music in my head all the time?

JD: Okaaay.

Jendeis: When I'm pregnant, do you think that the baby can hear the music?

JD: Um...

Jendeis: You know, cause I can hear the music inside me and the baby would be inside me.  Is it like internal radio?  Is it like the baby is listening to WJEN?

JD: Well, I don't think...

Jendeis: Because I'm starting to worry that that's the case, and if we're pregnant this cycle, then I think our child came into being during a very long marathon of "Who Let the Dogs Out?".

JD: I don't think that biology works that way, hon.

Jendeis: But it almost doesn't matter if there's no internal radio, because every time I think about "Who Let the Dogs Out?", I wind up humming it or whistling it and the baby would definitely be able to hear that, right?

JD: You used to say sane things.  I miss that.

Quo Vadis

Yesterday, JD and I met with the RE for our Quo Vadis meeting, aka "What's Next, Doc?"  My feelings on are all over the place.  I feel sad that we're even in this position (i.e., infertility in general and, specifically, about to embark on dIUI #6).  I feel angry that it's taking so long.  I feel positive that my doc is responding to us and our concerns.  I feel frustrated with my inability to stay away from gluten.  I feel embarassed that I have such a struggle with taking my meds.  I feel happy that I have rocked my Wii Fit Plus every day since we set it up (see my other blog for more details).

I told the doc that, given our record (5 dIUIs (3 with Prometrium), 1 miscarriage, 0 take home babies)  my hope level for this upcoming IUI is pretty low.  My unfulfilled due date is coming up in mid-February and I'm feeling increasingly anxious about it.  I'm ready to move to the next level.

From a completely biased position, it seems like my doc would like me to do unmedicated dIUIs from here to kingdom come.  (Those were probably not his exact words).  Really, he thinks that we should keep doing what we're doing for a little while more, but he was aware that we were not going to want to hear that.  My response was to semi-joke, "No, I want to hear what you would do, then I want to ignore that and do what I want to do."

His proposal was to do two more unmedicated cycles after #6 and then add meds, probably Clomid.  The idea of the meds would be to get my body to release more than one egg at ovulation, providing more targets for the sperm, thus increasing the odds of getting at least one baby out of this.  Of course, increasing the number of eggs also increases the chance of multiples, which JD wanted to discuss back, forth and sideways, but my feeling is that we should wait to cross that bridge if and when we get to it.

My compromise was to do #6 and #7 unmedicated, then maybe go for medicated cycles or another unmedicated round, depending on my thoughts then.

I'll start the OPKs tomorrow for Cycle #6.  Our power song for this cycle: "You're Gonna Go Far Kid" by The Offspring (off my CAPS playlist).  Our inspirational song for this cycle: "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, as adapted by Glee.

Bless the Brown Cows of the Desert That Give Us Hot Chocolate Milk

I had a Venti (read: horse trough) Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream from Starbucks.


It was the best fucking hot chocolate that ever was.


Amen.
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No ill effects from that part of Un-detox (Retox?) Day #1, but then I ate cheese and it was like the Yokohama Bullet Train.(*)(**) So, I'll be continuing the good decision made a year ago to only partake of cheese in rare circumstances.


For lunch, I had chicken and mashed potatoes and creamed spinach (I heart Boston Market). The mashed potatoes were OK, but the creamed spinach was an explosion of love and joy that I haven't experienced since the last episode of Glee.


I'm planning to refrain from dairy the rest of the day, though, so that I can sort of act like I was un-detoxing with moderation whatever that is.
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*Is there a bullet train to/from Yokohama?


**Please excuse my nastiness. I was born in a barn -- New Jersey.(***)


***Again, please excuse my insulting demeanor. I'm sure New Jersey is fine, really. No, really. They've got Bon Jovi doing their ad campaign, it can't be all bad.(****)


****Does my state even have an ad campaign? I mean, my real state, not the Shmomonwealth of Shmurshminia. I'm going with the absolutely no-evidence-basis, uneducated guess answer of: No - my state doesn't have an ad campaign. We don't need one. People know how awesome we are without Bon Jovi or Arnold. We have our own state cake! We have many malling options. Goldie Hawn is from here. Plus, our most well-known state song is about our lottery.(*****) Deal with it, people. You wish your state was that awesome. "It could be." If you lived here.


*****Five bucks says that Mel and Lindsay are currently humming our song.
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Um, I think the sugar (or the manic chapter of the depressive episode, take your pick) kicked in somewhere around Bon Jovi.

I'm Kreativ!

I just got the Kreativ Blogger award from ma chere Clare of The Pitter-Patter. Thank you very much!

The Rules:

1) Thank the person who gave you this award.

2) Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3) Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

4) Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.

5) Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.

6) Link to your nominees' blogs.

7) Leave them a comment letting them know they've been nominated.

The Things:

1) I eat sandwiches and Reese's cups in circles -- all the way around the edges, then I eat the middles.

2) A song on the radio that I heard when I was 5 scared me off of listening to the radio for the next 7 years. It was "Muskrat Love" by The Captain & Tenille.

3) I totally beat John Dear's 5 and 6 year old nephews at Disney DDR. I told the family I was keeping my amateur status for the Olympics.

4) I have become an utter Gleek.

5) My shoe obsession: ballet flats.

6) I have six articles of hockey memoribilia in my office (two bobbleheads, one clapper, two posters, one wristband).

7) I'm working towards keeping kosher and have cut out pork and am now working to cut out shellfish.

My Nominees:

1) Dreaming of Quiet Places

2) On (In)fertile Ground

3) No, I'm Not Pregnant, Just Fat

4) Baby Making Journey

5) Baby OCD

6) Flotsam

7) The Privileged Infertile

Music for Work

Thought I'd share what I'm listening to during my work hours. I use Playlist.com for my working hours. You can put together a playlist of your fave songs and, while you don't get to own the songs, you don't have to pay for them either.

I change my playlists all the time; these are some of the songs that are getting me through the work day right now:

"Istanbul Not Constantinople"-They Might Be Giants
"Personal Jesus" - Depeche Mode
"Bizarre Love Triangle" - New Order
"Better Together" - Jack Johnson
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" - She and Him
"Alright with Me" - Eric Hutchinson
"Lucky" - Jason Mraz (w/ Cobie Caillat)
"Pop" - *NSYNC (yes, I love them. Deal with it).
"Wonderwall" - Ryan Adams (remake of the Oasis song; heard it on an episode of Lie to Me)
"Jai Ho" - A.R. Rahman (from Slumdog Millionaire)

1995

Aside from reminding myself just how old I feel, 1995 is the year that I graduated from high school. Found this meme over at Jill's and just had to do it.

The Rules:
A.) Go to Music Outfitters.
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you REALLY hate.

1. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
2. Waterfalls, TLC
3. Creep, TLC
4. Kiss From A Rose, Seal
5. On Bended Knee, Boyz II Men
6. Another Night, Real McCoy
7. Fantasy, Mariah Carey
8. Take A Bow, Madonna
9. Don't Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days), Monica
10. This Is How We Do It, Montell Jordan
11. I Know, Dionne Farris
12. Water Runs Dry, Boyz II Men
13. Freak Like Me, Adina Howard
14. Run-Around, Blues Traveler
15. I Can Love You Like That, All-4-One
16. Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?, Bryan Adams
17. Always, Bon Jovi
18. Boombastic/In The Summertime, Shaggy
19. Total Eclipse Of The Heart, Nicki French
20. You Gotta Be, Des'ree
21. You Are Not Alone, Michael Jackson
22. Hold My Hand, Hootie and The Blowfish
23. One More Chance-Stay With Me, Notorious B.I.G.
24. Here Comes The Hotstepper, Ini Kamoze
25. Candy Rain, Soul For Real
26. Let Her, w Hootie and The Blowfish
27. I Believe, Blessid Union Of Souls
28. Red Light Special, TLC
29. Runaway, Janet Jackson
30. Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
31. Colors Of The Wind, Vanessa Williams
32. Someone To Love, Jon B.
33. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
34. If You Love Me, Brownstone
35. In The House Of Stone And Light, Martin Page
36. I Got 5 On It, Luniz
37. Baby, Brandy
38. Run Away, Real McCoy
39. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
40. He's Mine, Mokenstef
41. December, Collective Soul
42. I'll Be There For You-You're All I Need To Get By, Method Man-Mary J. Blige
43. Shy Guy, Diana King
44. I'm The Only One, Melissa Etheridge
45. Every Little Thing I Do, Soul For Real
46. Before I Let You Go, BLACKstreet
47. Big Poppa/Warning, Notorious B.I.G.
48. Sukiyaki, 4 P.M.
49. I Wanna Be Down, Brandy
50. I'll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men
51. Dear Mama/Old School, 2Pac
52. Hold On, Jamie Walters
53. Keep Their Heads Ringin', Dr. Dre
54. The Rhythm Of The Night, Corona
55. Roll To Me, Del Amitri
56. Scream/Childhood, Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson
57. Freek'n You, Jodeci
58. I Wish, Skee-lo
59. Believe, Elton John
60. Carnival, Natalie Merchant
61. You Don't Know How It Feels, Tom Petty
62. Back For Good, Take That
63. Tootsee Roll, 69 Boyz
64. You Want This-70's Love Groove, Janet Jackson
65. Tell Me, Groove Theory
66. Can't You See, Total
67. All I Wanna Do, Sheryl Crow
68. This Lil' Game We Play, Subway
69. Come And Get Your Love, Real McCoy
70. This Ain't A Love Song, Bon Jovi
71. Secret, Madonna
72. Player's Anthem, Junior M.A.F.I.A.
73. Feel Me Flow, Naughty By Nature
74. Every Day Of The Week, Jade
75. The Sweetest Days, Vanessa Williams
76. Short Dick Man, 20 Fingers Featuring Gillette
77. Brokenhearted, Brandy
78. No More "I Love You's", Annie Lennox
79. You Used To Love Me, Faith Evans
80. Constantly, Immature
81. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, U2
82. 100% Pure Love, Crystal Waters
83. Ask Of You, Raphael Saadiq
84. Sugar Hill, Az
85. Good, Better Than Ezra
86. Brown Sugar, D'angelo
87. Turn The Beat Around, Gloria Estefan
88. 'Til You Do Me Right, After 7
89. 1st Of Tha Month, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
90. Like The Way I Do If I Wanted To, Melissa Etheridge
91. I Live My Life For You, Firehouse
92. Dream About You-Funky Melody, Stevie B
93. Cotton Eye Joe, Rednex
94. Thank You, Boyz II Men
95. I'll Stand By You, Pretenders
96. I Miss You, N II U
97. Give It 2 You, Da Brat
98. Best Friend, Brandy
99. Misery, Soul Asylum
100. Can't Stop Lovin' You, Van Halen

Guess I'm just neutral on most of the songs from my graduation year. I just remember listening to a lot of The Beatles back then.

Today's Hits for the Depressed and Downtrodden

I want to change the world; instead, I sleep.
--Ingrid Michaelson, "Keep Breathing"
What I'm Listening To Now:
"Who Knew?" - Pink
"Hero" - Nickelback
"Song Beneath the Song" - Maria Taylor
"Where Does the Good Go?" - Tegan and Sara
"Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps" - Doris Day
"Fools In Love" - Inara George
"Daughter" - Loudon Wainwright III
"Grey in L.A." - Loudon Wainwright III
"I Let Myself Fall" - Rosie Thomas
"Sunday" - Sia
"You Wouldn't Like Me" - Tegan and Sara
"Edge of the Ocean" - Ivy
"Bound by Love" - Gran Bel Fisher
"Keep Breathing" - Ingrid Michaelson

Visits

The past few days have been spent catching up with friends who live far away. Yay! I love when people visit!

A, a friend from law school, was down here for a couple days to visit with friends and family, as well as do some stuff for work. It was sooo good to see her! We wound up spending about 3 1/2 hours sitting outside a Starbucks talking about anything and everything. On Monday night, a bunch of us from law school ate dinner together and had a great time.

Last night, we spent the evening with Roger, home for a few days before he returns to school. As always, it was wonderful and way too short. John Dear's parents wound up walking into the restaurant as we were finishing our meal, so they sat down with us. After JD's parents left, we went back to Roger's house for dessert and hours of talk with Roger and his parents. I had a lovely time, but wish we could just have Roger to ourselves. He is so on the go, I guess all of us in his life feel that way. :)

Things on the home front are going OK; we're getting along well and there have been no arguments. I'm sort of getting antsy about it though, like I'm anticipating a big fight soon. Maybe it's just stress as we get ready for this weekend and vacation.

That's right! We're going on vacation. To Hawaii! I'm so excited! Never been there and we are staying at the hotel from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Before we leave though, BFF, JD and I will be seeing Maroon 5, Counting Crows and Sara Bareilles. Yay!!

Strong Women Stand Up -- UPDATED

All right, we're back to Square 1 and coming back strong and more determined than ever. Let's create the "Strong Women Stand Up / Kickass Badass" playlist. Here's what I've got so far:

1. "Survivor", Destiny's Child
2. "Fighter", Christina Aguilera
3. "Stronger", Britney Spears
4. "Hollaback Girl", Gwen Stefani
5. "Express Yourself", Madonna
6. "Rhiannon", Fleetwood Mac
7. "Love Song", Sara Bareilles
8. "Objection (Tango)", Shakira
9. "Straight Up", Paula Abdul
10. "There You Go", Pink
11. "No Scrubs", TLC
12. "Suddenly I See", KT Tunstall

What are the necessary songs when you're being a Strong Woman? Tell me what I've forgotten.

UPDATE: Here's the rest of the songs, including your suggestions and an important ending!

13. "I'm Every Woman", Chaka Khan
14. "Body Beautiful", Salt'n'Pepa
15. "I'm Beautiful", Bette Midler
16. "I Am Woman", Helen Reddy
17. "Before He Cheats", Carrie Underwood
18. "Not Ready to Make Nice", Dixie Chicks
19. "Hit Me with Your Best Shot", Pat Benatar
20. "Strength of a Woman", Shaggy
21. "All or Nothing", Athena Cage
22. "I Will Survive", Gloria Gaynor
23. "Don't Let Me Get Me", Pink
24. "Who Knew", Pink
25. "Free Your Mind", En Vogue
26. "Lady Marmelade", Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya & Pink
27. "Did I Just Shave My Legs for This?", Deana Carter

Feel free to keep adding to the playlist via the comments. We could always use more music to pump us up and make us strong again!

I've Got the World on a String

I can't sleep, so I'm up reading blogs and came across this cute iPod meme.

The Rules
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down, no matter what!!

The Questions
1. If someone says "Is this OK?" you say --
"Don't Worry Baby" - The Beach Boys

2. What would best describe your personality?
"Every Morning" - Sugar Ray

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Won't Go Home Without You" - Maroon 5

4. How do you feel today?
"Name" - Goo Goo Dolls

5. What is your life's purpose?
"Scotty Doesn't Know" - Lustra
(and neither do I).

6. What is your motto?
"Smooth" - Santana & Rob Thomas
(heh, that's cool).

7. What do your friends think of you?
"Long Way Down" - Guster

8. What do you think of your parents?
"The Story" - Brandi Carlisle

9. What do you think about very often?
"Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol

10. What is 2+2?
"At the Timeshare" - The LeeVees

11. What do you think of your best friend?
"Comin' Home Baby" - Michael Bublé
(cool, b/c she's on a business trip and coming home this weekend)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
"My Funny Valentine" - Chet Baker

13. What is your life story?
"It's Oh So Quiet" - Björk

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Sweet Girl" - Fleetwood Mac
(I'm smiling now)

15. What do you think when you see the person you like?
"April is in My Mistress' Face" - The Douglas Frank Chorale (a madrigal)

16. What do your parents think of you?
"Can't Stop" - Maroon 5

17. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"When I Grow Up to Be a Man" - The Beach Boys
(this was NOT played at our wedding)

18. What will they play at your funeral?
"Zoot Suit Riot" - Cherry Poppin' Daddies
(my funeral rocks!)

19. What is your hobby/interest?
"The Downeaster 'Alexa'" - Billy Joel

20. What is your biggest secret?
"Nothing Lasts Forever" - Maroon 5
(One, how is that a secret? Two, I really do have more than Maroon 5 on iTunes).

21. What do you think of your friends?
"All Mixed Up" - 311

22. What should you post this as?
"I've Got the World on a String" - Michael Bublé

Blecch

The flowers have died, there is no morning dew. The crickets aren't chirping and I am so blue.
--Sung by Sandra Huxtable during on the times she had broken up with Elvin on The Cosby Show

Was feeling kind of down when I started this post. Therefore, the only appropriate music was "Anna" by Gunnar Madsen (played at the end of a Sex & the City episode, "La Douleur Exquise", where Carrie breaks up with Big and he goes to Paris). Sad and tears inducing, but good for being sad and emotional. Very French. Probably plays in those cafés that Alexa writes about where French infants lounge in leather jackets, smoking Gauloises and arguing about Sartre.

Was sad after reflecting on Kymberli's post regarding Clockwatchers & Calendarlookers, being ignored by several bosses in my quest to answer their questions and a general malaise.

After a funny conversation with a co-worker and listening to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See", bringing up simultaneous images of the start of The Devil Wears Prada and an opening scene of a Grey's Anatomy episode, I'm feeling happier.

Don't mind me, just the mercurial temperament in me. I think I'm less like Mercury though than I am like Janus. Mercury changed feelings in an instant. I feel like I hold all feelings in me at the same time. I am happy and sad all at once, looking forward and back just like Janus.

Now I'm pissed because my boss is an utter ass who likes to waste my time. AAAAHHH!