Thursday, January 21, 2010

Quo Vadis

Yesterday, JD and I met with the RE for our Quo Vadis meeting, aka "What's Next, Doc?"  My feelings on are all over the place.  I feel sad that we're even in this position (i.e., infertility in general and, specifically, about to embark on dIUI #6).  I feel angry that it's taking so long.  I feel positive that my doc is responding to us and our concerns.  I feel frustrated with my inability to stay away from gluten.  I feel embarassed that I have such a struggle with taking my meds.  I feel happy that I have rocked my Wii Fit Plus every day since we set it up (see my other blog for more details).

I told the doc that, given our record (5 dIUIs (3 with Prometrium), 1 miscarriage, 0 take home babies)  my hope level for this upcoming IUI is pretty low.  My unfulfilled due date is coming up in mid-February and I'm feeling increasingly anxious about it.  I'm ready to move to the next level.

From a completely biased position, it seems like my doc would like me to do unmedicated dIUIs from here to kingdom come.  (Those were probably not his exact words).  Really, he thinks that we should keep doing what we're doing for a little while more, but he was aware that we were not going to want to hear that.  My response was to semi-joke, "No, I want to hear what you would do, then I want to ignore that and do what I want to do."

His proposal was to do two more unmedicated cycles after #6 and then add meds, probably Clomid.  The idea of the meds would be to get my body to release more than one egg at ovulation, providing more targets for the sperm, thus increasing the odds of getting at least one baby out of this.  Of course, increasing the number of eggs also increases the chance of multiples, which JD wanted to discuss back, forth and sideways, but my feeling is that we should wait to cross that bridge if and when we get to it.

My compromise was to do #6 and #7 unmedicated, then maybe go for medicated cycles or another unmedicated round, depending on my thoughts then.

I'll start the OPKs tomorrow for Cycle #6.  Our power song for this cycle: "You're Gonna Go Far Kid" by The Offspring (off my CAPS playlist).  Our inspirational song for this cycle: "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, as adapted by Glee.

21 comments:

Melissa G said...

DUDE. I totally feel your frustration (seeings how I'll be moving on to dIUI #7 in the coming months.)

I really fucking hope we get our BFP's ASAP.

Best wishes on this one!

Kymberli said...

Who the heck said "Good things come to those who wait?" Why can't the good things just come, dammit?

I'm still here and still abiding.

Noelle said...

I'm glad that you met with your doctor and you guys seem to have a plan in place. I am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. You have every right to be. I think it is great that you are doing so good with your Wii fit. You have so much going on, so I think it is pretty dang good that you are doing the Wii. I will be thinking about you.

Meghan said...

Glad you had your meeting and were able to reach sometype of compromise with the doc. I have a friend who did dIUI's with the same clinic and they made her go through 12...not sure why they aren't more pro-active when going the donor route...

Regardless, best of luck

Lorin said...

I may be way overstepping my bounds here, and deep apologies if that's the case. I can't help but wonder, though, if you aren't seeing eye to eye with your doc, is it time to talk to someone new?

LJ said...

I want the doc to be freaking aggressive at this point - I mean come on! Ugh. I hear you.

~Jess said...

GRRR!!!! I know how frustrated I was after 2-3 DIUIs, I can only imagine after 5! I seriously hope you guys get your take home baby ASAP! Or I'm gonna come down there and knock SOMEBODY's heads around...*hugS*

JJ said...

Hoping, hoping, hoping!

Nicole said...

Glad you met with the doc, but 2 more AFTER this? oof. I mean, fwiw, I got pregnant on my 6th non-medicated cycle (though at the last minute, we threw in a trigger shot). It can happen. But I know that feeling of it'll never work. (5th time, second time around.)

Rach said...

Hoping you get your BFP sooner rather than later.

ICLW
Rach
www.thegalwho.wordpress.com

Clare said...

Wishing you the best with this cycle. I start OPKs too today and so I guess we'll be cycle buddies for this one!

Lucy said...

The waiting, frustration, and lack of progress just suck! I hope he gives you some options. Congrats on the wii fit progress.

R.J. said...

I'm with some of the others who want to cheer your doc to "BE AGGRESSIVE, BE BE AGGRESSIVE" (sorry for the geek-out there)!! We are doing injectable IUIs right now so I know the fear. Right now I just want to be PG and I'll cross the multiples road if and when it's ever an issue.

BTW, C secretely filmed me w/ his cell phone when I was doing the marching band game on Wii Fit and I was (a) pissed at him, and (b) pissed I looked like such a huge dork. I apparently need my own special Wii Fit room.

daega99 said...

Sound like you have a plan and I hope it will be a successful one.

I can't wait to use wii Fit Plus in earnest. I tried the marching game and sucked at it! I tried to blame it on my recovery though :)

ICLW
http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/

junebug said...

Patience has become a bad word for me.
I hope this plan ends with a BFP.
ICLW

Marla.z said...

So, lemme get this straight. Your doc wants you to do EIGHT unmedicated IUI's before he even lets you try Clom.id????? And I thought it was only my RE that was just after money. Yowza! That's craziness! You must have a lot of patience, and I mean that in a good way. I would be at my wits end, if that were me. Good luck!

ICLW

Quiet Dreams said...

I'll have you know I'm pissed off on your behalf.

Pissed.

Much respect to you for making it this far in the journey and not throwing yourself off the Trying Train.

sonja said...

Wow, that is a LOT of unmedicated cycles. I can see how you'd be running out of patience. In fact, I am impressed you had as much patience as you did! I hope you can do a medicated round soon -- even if you get an extra follicle or two or have more intense monitoring you will likely up your chances.

Sorry for all the frustration. =(

SassyCupcakes said...

This all sucks so much. I really hope whichever way you go that you get the beautiful healthy pregnancy you deserve. I am not at all a fan of Clomid after my experience with it, but I do know people who have got pregnant with it.

I'm sorry if I'm asking a stupid question, but have you had a second opinion? I found that seeing another doctor (depending on the doctor) helped me feel better about which direction to go in.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Sending many prayers for this cycle. Praying really hard that this will be the last cycle you need.

Kimbosue said...

Be agressive! BE-EE agressive! (like my cheerleader re-enactment?)

I know he's your doc, but do what YOU want to do. HE works for YOU.