Note: I wrote this a couple days ago, but forgot to hit "publish".  So here's what I was thinking about a couple days ago...

I'm still going back and forth between feeling okay-not-great-but-okay and sick, sick, sick.  For the most part, the Zofran is at least allowing me to eat, even if it's not getting me to feeling fine.  Thank G-D for Uncle Ben's 90-second rice pouches. Love 'em!

I'm now throwing up about every other day.  Quick gross tip: don't use a toilet for your vomiting needs.  Use a trash bag.  I've been able to avoid (knock on wood) blowing any blood vessels in my eyes this time around, and I credit it to avoiding the porcelain.

And now for something completely different...LM has officially started swim lessons at the local JCC.  This isn't so much as a swim lesson as a Let's All Get Used to Being in the Water By Singing Songs lesson, but I'll use "swim lesson" for short.  JD went in the water with LM (each child goes in with a parent), and I sat on the sideline with some very pregnant mamas.  I'm so glad JD was there because there is no way I would have been able to stomach all the bouncing in the water.

LM went in the pool a number of times this summer, so we both thought he'd do pretty well.  LM did fine, but got upset a couple times when he saw me and wanted to be with me.  I think that I will skip the lessons from now on, so that LM just stays with Daddy.  Out of sight, out of mind.

The Nanny Adventure

So, I'm still dealing with lots of nausea, but for the most part, the oral Zofran is allowing me to eat.  Since I was already on the pump by this time when I was pregnant with LM, it looks like -- NOT TEMPTING FATE HERE -- we may not enter hyperemesis-land this time around.

Still nausea stinks and I feel guilty that JD has to carry the huge burden of dealing with LM, The Boy, and running our household virtually by himself.  I'm trying to do as much as I can, but that, admittedly, is not all that much.  JD has really been wonderful and hasn't complained a bit.

Since we're all for embarking upon huge adventures simultaneously 'round these parts (see: week of our wedding, when we: bought a house, sold a house, moved, car broke down, SIL broke her foot and got married), we have decided that we're going to have a nanny.

Now, JD and I have been pretty happy with LM in full-time daycare.  We loved the daycare that he attended in Virginia (although the scheduling sometimes stunk), and like the center that LM currently attends in Maryland.  (I can't love it because it's the rebound daycare.  It's not that there's anything wrong with it).  Daycare is a choice* that has worked for our family (even though I occasionally struggle with mommy-guilt because I don't stay at home with LM).

JD and I had thrown around the idea of having a nanny rather than having two kids in full-time daycare, when we started cycling for #2.  Given my hyperemesis with my first pregnancy, we knew that this was something that needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later.  I had sort of been putting it off for whatever reason, when a family friend (who is a nanny) called to let me know that her current position was ending and that she was looking for a new position.  Talk about meant to be!

Though I do feel that we're making the right decision, I am concerned about this transition in LM's life.  He is used to "going to school" and being with his teachers and children and activity all day.  He is so amazing and personable and talkative and I don't want to do anything that would screw that up.  We've looked into LM attending his daycare on a part-time basis, but that is really prohibitively expensive.  What I am planning to do is enroll LM in a swim class and some other sort of Mommy & Me-type class so that he's exposed to other kids at least twice a week.  (Due to his late birthday, LM won't start preschool until next September).

Any advice or suggestions?

*I use the word "choice" in a looser sense, as both JD and I need to work outside the home for financial reasons, among others.

Undeleted!!

For whatever reason, Blogger deleted my blog for a few days, but it is now back up.  Yay!!

Now, go do this -- read Mel's instructions on how to back up your blog and do it now!  I didn't have anything saved and was trying to cope with the loss of everything I've written over the past five years.  Please do this.
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I am fine.  Very nauseated and on Zofran, but fine.

JD is fine.  Exhausted from having to take care of most things now, but fine.

LM is fine.  Still struggling with giving up the binky, but fine.

Back to our originally scheduled programming in a bit...

Batting Over 1000

I had my repeat beta (#3 overall) and we got a 1455!  Nurse says we're "off the charts wonderful" and no more blood tests needed.  Hooray!

Now, we just have to wait till our u/s.  Nurse pushed it off a bit (to the 30th) to up the odds that we'll see a heartbeat.  So, we'll just be on pins and needles till then.

It stinks to have to go in so often for the blood tests, but it really is nice to get that validation every other day that things are going well.

Nausea is increasing.  Blech.

JD just called.  LM is running a 100° fever at daycare right now.  JD is going to pick him up and we'll all meet up at the house.  I'm hoping this is just a tooth coming in or too much activity and not the beginnings of something yucky.

Overachiever

This week, my doc sent me in for an estimated fetal weight scan.  (Acause of the two bellays, fundal height measurements aren't exactly accurate).  The result?  This kid is in the 91st percentile for weight, at an estimated 3 lbs., 6 oz. at 28 weeks.  My mom said her grandchild is an overachiever.

If the baby maintains this rate of growth, we're looking at about a 9 lb. baby.  Yes, I am growing the next Alex Ovechkin.

This large size (assuming that these estimates are accurate, many times they are not) doesn't bother me and I was not all that surprised.  I'm large and was a bigger baby (over 8 lbs.) and my siblings were both bigger babes as well (sis was the same as me; brother was over 9 lbs).  My only concern here is that I not be pushed into an unnecessary induction or c-section just because of my weight or the weight of the baby.  I'd greatly prefer to have labor start on its own and have an unmedicated birth.  Obviously, if me or the baby is in danger, we do what's necessary, even if that includes meds and/or a c-section.  I plan to sit down with my doc when I see her in 2 weeks, to discuss our preferences and how that will work with her practices and that of the hospital.

The good news is I've really been trying to do all that I can do to help us have that unmedicated birth that we want.  I've been walking every day and doing my Bradley-recommended exercises most days.  I've been pretty good at getting the right amount of sleep.  I'm drinking lots of water.  I'm doing really well at controlling my portions and making sure I'm eating good foods (ex: I'm having yogurt almost every day which has really helped with the heartburn).  I passed the 1-hour glucose test, yay!  I successfully limited my weight gain to 3 lbs. this month, yay!

This month, I'd like to keep my exercise up and work on doing the Bradley exercises every day.  I'm going to work on making sure I include a 20-minute nap at lunchtime, so I'm not worried about falling asleep on the drive home from work.  I'm also going to try and get back to meal planning, to make sure that I'm eating a good variety of proteins and fruits and veggies.  (Yeah, including grains has never been a problem for me).

Last, and definitely not least...JD got a job!  He started this week and is feeling very positive about what he'll be doing and the people with whom he'll be working.  We're both hoping that this job will be a good fit for him -- something that will be more of a longer-term situation.

I'm hoping to post more often than I have been, not only about the baby and how we're doing with cleaning out what will be the baby's room, but also with regard to how we're doing with routines, meals and exercise.  Thank you all for sticking with me through these lean-posting times.

19 Weeks and the Ongoing Saga That Is JD's Search for a Job

Nothing really going on here, so I haven't felt that much motivation to update.  My nurse insists that what I think is gas is actually the baby.  I think that at least half of what I think is gas is, in fact, actually gas.  Who knows?

I'm still on the Zofran pump, but I'm in the middle of weaning off of it.  I seem to be doing ok on the weaning, so hopefully that continues and I can get off the pump soon.

JD is still without employment or a plan.  Some history: JD told me (in response to questioning, at some point in the last year) that he was happiest and most fulfilled in terms of work when he was programming, as opposed to the more computer administration stuff that he's been doing for the last several years.  To me, that says that what JD should be doing is programming.  Find the work that makes you happy.

Now, in our area, in order to find a job as a programmer, you need to know and have experience in Java.  JD does not have this.  Why?  1) He says that Java is a stupid, inefficient language.  2) He doesn't want to go to school anymore, he doesn't want to be graded, he doesn't want to be "judged" (his words).

Here's my trying to answer as rationally as possible to his BS:
1) If all you speak is Latin and everyone else in the world speaks English, wouldn't it make sense to learn English so that you could communicate with others?  I told JD that it was as if his college degree was in being a Roman gladiator.  Well, there are no more jobs available for Roman gladiators, so you've gotta do something about that.

2) There are few jobs or even kinds of jobs available that don't require some type of continuing education or need to learn new skills or improve upon current skills in your life.  Really, I think that if you foreclose any job that would require new learning, you limit yourself to retail.  I don't think that JD would enjoy or even be successful at a job in retail, but assuming that's what he wants to do, fine.  Now, apply for jobs.

After meeting with his therapist yesterday, JD came up with another reason for not taking a class: "It's not that you need to know Java, it's that you need to have work experience with Java."

OK, well, you're not going to get any work experience with Java if you don't freakin' know it, so why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?

He seemed yesterday as if he was on the precipice of agreeing to sign up for classes.  This morning, he said that he would be doing job searching today and when I asked about the classes, he said that he was still thinking about it.  When I asked what his therapist had said, JD told me that his therapist thinks he should "volunteer and network to figure out what he [JD] wants to do."  This is utter BS.  JD knows what he wants to do.  He wants to do nothing all day long.

As my Fairy Godmother once told me, "The problem with responding to JD in a rational manner is that he is not in his rational brain.  This is all emotional stuff for him."  But what do I do?  Rant and scream and cry?  That doesn't change his lazy, irresponsible ass either!

Any suggestions/comments you might have would be appreciated.

Two and a Half Hours

Which of the following best describes two and a half hours?

A.)  The average amount of time Jendeis spends at any one point in the bathroom nowadays.
B.)  The amount of time Jendeis and her mom spent at Mega Baby Superstore just looking at strollers.
C.)  The amount of time in a day that Jendeis is not either eating or sleeping.
D.)  All of the above.

Of course, D is the correct answer, but can you believe that B is correct?  Two and a half hours, people!  Just strollers!!

Based on prior experience, the plan was that me and my mom go initially and narrow the list down to a couple of finalists.  Then, I'll bring JD in and we'll make the final pick together.

Thank goodness that it was just me and my mom. I'm quite certain that if JD and I had gone together it would have turned into some sort of pregnancy/hunger hormone-induced steel cage match.  One of us would not have come out alive.

So, my mom and I spent two and half hours discussing the pros and cons and operations of several strollers amongst ourselves and with a very helpful (and patient) saleswoman, Shari.  The worst part of it is that despite all that time learning how to collapse the strollers and put them back together and put in the infant seat and take out the infant seat that I've completely forgotten all that information and will have to learn it all over again. 


Have decided that I'll need to make instructional stickers for us to emblazon all over the things to remind us how to do it.  Alternatively (or maybe in addition), I want Shari to make a YouTube video that I can refer to every time I have to do something with the stroller.  That's reasonable and not at all insane, right?  Right?

The Weekly B*tch

15 weeks today - things are pretty much the same with the never-ending nausea.  I've been feeling really sick over the last 5 days, so my nurse threw the weaning plan out the window.  (Thank G-D).  The big difference here is that I have finally moved back to our place.  It was tough leaving Mom & Dad's, but it's nice to sleep in my own bed and watch HGTV 24/7.

Lemme vent: I'm getting a little concerned with peeved at resentful of (all of those) conpeevsentful of JD and his lack of job/not doing much around the house.  He has now been sleeping for most of the day.  When he's not sleeping, he's playing around on the computer.  To give him credit, he has been fetching stuff/food for me the past few days.  I'm just not thrilled with having to put up with his whiny, I don't feel good BS.  Given the history of the past few years, I feel like JD is not allowed to be sick for the rest of our lives.  I'm willing to be reasonable (ha ha) though and state that he is not allowed to be sick for at least the next year and a half.

I was able to bring up the issue of cleaning out the 2nd bedroom (what will be the baby's room).  Right now, that room is absolutely stuffed with clutter.  We're not really at Hoarders' level, but it wouldn't be a challenge to get there.  My mother came up with the following idea: JD and I set a deadline for ourselves to clean out all the stuff.  Once we hit the deadline, Goodwill comes in and gets everything that's left.  As expected, JD the Hoarder wasn't too thrilled with the idea that his stuff might be given away, but that's the point of the whole idea.  You get rid of your own crap, or it will be gotten rid of for you.  We haven't come to an agreement yet, but I feel good that there's been an opening salvo.

Keyser Snowsze

The title was my favorite name in the running for the current snowstorms.  I think it was beaten out by Snowpacolypse or Snowmageddon, but I like the goth feel of Keyser Snowsze.
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I'm in my office today for the first time since last Wednesday.  It was really nice to have a break, but I had to get out of the house to get away from JD (who is still home from work).

We got a little over 29 inches by us, which I (90% me, 10% JD) shoveled off of my car and parking spot pretty quickly.  I went out for about 30 minutes on Saturday and then did another 45 minutes on Sunday and I was done!  I was motivated for bagels and also because BFF's dog had surgery last Thursday and was not doing well.  (She is since doing better - major thanks to SIL who thought to have us give the dog some Pepcid!).

JD did 5 minutes of shovelling on his own car (he wouldn't let me do anything).  So far, you can see the back of his car, but cannot get into the car.  (Apparently, bagels are not motivating factor for JD).  This car, currently encased in 29" of snow, is about to get another 20" thrown at it.  We may see JD's car moving again around April.
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This 2ww really hasn't been all that bad, basically because I think it's not gonna work.  Right now, I'm just going through the motions of the wait and waiting for my period/negative beta so we can get to another cycle and then hopefully, one that will work.

I am really dizzy right now.  The reason for this is:

A) I'm pregnant. (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.  Excuse me while I die laughing)
B) My body is fucking with me.
C) Differentials in air pressure in my office.
D) Not enough caffeine in the hot chocolate this morning.
E) Any of or a combination thereof of B, C and/or D, but certainly not A.
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My unfulfilled due date is coming up soon - Saturday, to be exact.  I've been feeling pretty down about it, but I'm trying to hide it from JD.  If I remind him of it, he'll go all Sarah Bernhardt on me and I just can't deal with his DRAMA right now.

BFF and I came up with a plan to light candles for Shabbat on Friday night and to use that ritual internally as a memorial.
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Since I worked on MLK Day, I get to take off for President's Day.  Getting inspiration from Mel, JD and I will be spending the 3-day weekend in Hershey, PA (assuming Keyser Snowsze doesn't blow it for us).  I will hopefully be getting a chocolate massage, going to a chocolate brunch and will definitely be going to a hockey game on Valentine's Day.  Yay, chocolate!

Rainbow Connection

A bunch of items, none of them long enough for a single post...

-There's a rainbow on my living room ceiling.  The rainbow is cast from a glass sculpture that JD and I purchased on our honeymoon.  I know that rainbows are just scientific phenomena, but they always give me hope.  I wish that this rainbow would be a sign for me.

-JD started a new job last week.  The commute is much better and we hope it will be a good fit for him.  JD's biggest complaint is that he has to wear a tie most days.  As a programmer, he usually was not expected to be dressed so formally.  I think he looks sexy, told him so, and he replied, "You think dumb looks sexy."  When I related this to BFF, she said that I should have told him, "Yes, well that's why I'm married to you."  :)

-This weekend, BFF and I went on a girls' weekend with my sister and her best friend, my mother and my grandmother.  We drove out to the beach and had a great weekend despite the snow.  We laughed ourselves silly.

-While driving out to the beach on Friday night, I received a call from my Fairy Godmother's daughter.  My Fairy Godmother passed on Thursday.  Mary's death was as I would have wished it -- peaceful and surrounded by her children and the love that we all have for her.  There are times when I feel her presence.  She must be looking over my shoulder and watching.

-I'm going in for the first procedure of Cycle Six now.  New motto: "Cycle Six: It's More Than Five, But At Least It's an Even Number!"  I'm usually pretty good about maintaining zen for the first week.  It's in the second week of the wait that the Hope-o-Meter goes all over the place.

-I'm looking for a good shampoo and conditioner.  I have really thick, coarse hair that paradoxically is oily yet feels like straw.  Any suggestions?

My Husband the Geek

John Dear recently got a new computer game, Civilization IV.  In case you are unfamiliar with Civilizations I through III, this is a game where you become the leader of an ancient civilization and work to explore lands, increase your population and bring new technologies to your people.

Geek check: I really loved this game when I first learned how to play it in high school.  I have since moved onto bigger and better games like Minesweeper and Free Cell.

As with every new game, JD is dedicating all his free time* to playing.  For whatever reason, JD thinks I need to know how he's doing in the game.  The upshot of this is that every so often, JD will burst out laughing and announce to the room (well, me and The Boy**) that Rabbi Akiva has become the ruler of China or that Ghandi, the current leader of Britain, has formally adopted slavery.

I don't care how he's doing; those mines won't sweep themselves after all.


*the amount of which is considerable, considering his non-employed status.
**I'm quite sure that The Boy is not interested in the play-by-play either, but he never complains, so how would we know?

Comme Ci, Comme Ca

Nothing much going on here. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still here and doing OK.

JD is also doing OK. A month into his new job, he's concerned that he doesn't really know what he's doing (the code is something that he's not familiar with), but he does think it's cool that he got paid to watch Mission Control launch Atlantis.

Yesterday, my friend, BB, and I went to Hockey 'n' Heels, a Caps event for women. It was awesome! We got to go out on the Caps' practice ice with some players and try to score a goal, win a faceoff, and learn stickhandling. Then, we got to try on some equipment (pads and gloves and helmets, oh my), we spoke to 2 TV analysts, then we got time with Bruuuuce "Gabby" Boudreau, the head coach, who taught us about prescouting teams with game films. Will show pics as soon as BB sends them to me.

I'll be cooking and freezing some detox-allowed food for Thanksgiving this weekend. I'm planning to make: quinoa with dried fruits and nuts, whipped/mashed sweet potatoes with pumpkin and a butternut squash-brown rice pasta bake. I'll let you know how those turn out and provide recipes after the weekend.

In TTC news, I'm just waiting around for the ovulation thang, so we can get going with IUI #4, also known as There's No Place Like Nausea-town for the Holidays.

Disc 27!!

Warning: This post is going to be all over the place.

Coming down the home stretch for the end of this two week wait. My beta is scheduled for Monday morning. I've been feeling increasingly dizzy over the past three days and the amount of nausea that I have has also increased. There's also intermittent breast tenderness in there too (though definitely not as much before I miscarried).

I went to acupuncture and yoga yesterday. I think the acupuncture helped the dizziness. We were doing guided imagery in yoga though, and at one point, my teacher started talking about the ocean and a lotus blossom floating in the waves. Nausea City, people. Of course, then, for absolutely no reason, I started thinking about fried chicken and the nausea subsided. Darn, now I want fried chicken!
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This post's title refers to the fact that after a long, hard slog, I have finally made it to the last disc in my audiobook on the Korean War, The Coldest Winter by David Halberstam. DISC 27, baby!

I am a history buff, but generally concentrate on much earlier periods in Europe -- pretty much anywhere from the Middle Ages through the late 19th century. In my high school history class, we never got past the early stages of World War II, so I've always felt lacking in knowledge of the 1950s - 1970s.

David Halberstam's The Coldest Winter came highly recommended as a good study of the reasons for and actions during The Korean War. I genuinely enjoyed the book, but don't think it translates very well as an audiobook. Halberstam makes frequent digressions to talk about the personal histories of the main figures and this makes the reader lose place and confuse context.

I would like to give huge marks to the narrator, Scott Brick, who has a great, clear voice and speaks with just the right amount of feeling.
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So far, so good. John Dear is doing good at his new job. He's been getting up and out the door early to get to work on time, and he's determined to pull his fair share of the household responsibilities.

There are a few kinks that we need to work out, but I think that everything is going well (knock on wood).
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Today marks the start of IComLeaveWe for October. This comes at the perfect time to distract myself from the 2ww.

Here's where I've commented today:

One Day Two Day (it was her birthday! three weeks ago. whoops.)
Kitchen Stewardship (in response to an anti-abortion post)
Ship Full of Pirates (on her lemon curd recipe)
Not the Jet Set (on her baking mix recipe)
Simply Sugar & Gluten-Free (on her pumpkin dog biscuits recipe)

I returned a comment from:
Who Shot My Stork? (on the one day I happened to be productive)

First Day

Today is JD's first day of work at his new job. Thank G-D.

Since I got up early to help him get out of the house on time, I was able to accomplish a ton last night and this morning.

Last night I:
-Filled and ran the dishwasher
-Filled the tea pot for the morning
-Set out mugs, teabags and spoons
-Set out our clothes for the morning
-Charged JD's phone
-Set up my bags and bag of dry cleaning by the door

This morning I:
-Made the bed
-Made tea
-Emptied the dishwasher
-Put all the breakfast dishes, spoons, etc. in the dishwasher
-Brought in the dry cleaning
-Deposited checks at the bank and took out money
-Brought The Boy to day care

I wonder if I can keep this level of effectiveness up?

Good News

John Dear has a JOB!

He'll be starting next Monday, doing the computer contracting that he used to do, only this time with a Pigs In Space vibe, as opposed to the Secret Squirrels vibe that he had concentrated on. We're both sooooo excited! Hooray!

I'm hoping that doing good things for ourselves (exercise, eating good, pain management, prayer, etc.) is helping us to turn things around and bring good things into our lives.

Oh, and dIUI #3 is on for tomorrow and Sunday. I've got my lucky socks, jewelry and acupuncture all lined up. Let's do it!

Due to the vagaries of scheduling, our "follow up" with the RE is for Monday. What are we going to discuss? I'd just like to know what the plan is if Project Insemination - Season 3 is not a success.

Pain Management

So, while I get over a bad cold, I thought I'd update on John Dear's medical issues.

Last week, he had his first appointment with a chronic pain management clinic. Thank G-D his doctor certified him for this. The aim here is not to eliminate JD's pain (we're not sure if it will ever be eliminated), but to bring it down to a manageable level so that he can work and live.

They put him on two new meds - painkillers that work a lot like modern anti-depressants. Here's how in layman's terms: modern anti-depressants, your Zolofts, your Prozacs, work by preventing the brain from absorbing too much serotonin (a chemical that works on emotions). When the brain absorbs too much serotonin and doesn't leave enough floating around, you get depressed.

JD's new meds work in a similar fashion. They prevent his brain from absorbing too much "painotonin". When the brain absorbs too much painotonin and doesn't leave enough floating around, you get pain.

So far, the meds really seem to be working. The other day, JD remarked, "You know, my foot is at a two on the pain scale. I don't remember the last time I was at a two!"

I'm trying to be guardedly optimistic. There's a long way to go. So much of JD's emotional work has been put on hold because of his pain. I think that, with the management of this pain, he's going to have to face some real demons. But, I have hope. We're finally moving forward.

John Dear Talks

"Sex, drugs, rock and roll...you've given it all up for chicken."
--JD on my recent unexplicable craving for chicken every day

"Isn't this whole thing a science? Why do we use the only fertility clinic staffed by liberal arts majors?"
--JD in response to my answer that I could not predict the exact date of ovulation because it's not an exact science


There's a third one we wanted to post, but we can't remember.

Treatment

Ever since my MIL mentioned the possibility of JD being hospitalized, I've been turning it over and over in my mind. Maybe JD needs more than just a change in medication and to find a part-time job. Maybe he needs to go to an inpatient treatment center for depression and chronic pain.

Or, maybe I watch too much "Intervention."

I broached the possibility with JD this morning over a quick phone call; just to say that it was something that I had thought about this weekend, and maybe we should look into it. He was indifferent, but said that right now, he's indifferent about everything, so maybe he's not the best judge. I said that what we're doing right now, obviously isn't working, so even if we decide this isn't the right thing for him and for us, at least we should look into it.

So, I looked up a couple of places online and now I'm at work worrying something that I never have before about JD's behavior -- whether or not he's suicidal right now, and whether he'll try to hurt himself while I'm not around.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I've been on vacation and so have taken a break from blogging. Now, after reading the 1000+ posts sitting in my reader (man, have you been busy!), I'm ready to rejoin the world.

The Highlights
-To start our vacation, JD and I went to a joint session with our therapists, this session will forever more be known as the "Sha Na Na Session" (aka the "Get a Job Session").* JD felt ganged up on, but I have no sympathy left and my impression of our therapists was that they have very little as well.

-JD and I had a very nice vacation at the beach. We only went to the beach one day, because both of us got burns. (I got burned where I missed sunblock coverage; JD got burned because he wouldn't get fully under the umbrella). We covered ourselves in aloe vera gel the rest of the week.

-I had the best massage of my life!! My back's been hurting me for the last month or so (a result of gaining so much weight in so little time), and after 5 minutes of massage, I didn't have any pain. If you ever travel around Bethany Beach, Delaware, please contact me for the greatest masseurs in the world.

-JD and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary in style by having breakfast at Bob Evans, cause we're classy like that. We did some book shopping and went out to dinner at a local country club. We picked the place because it reminded us of eating at Roy Yamaguchi's restaurant in Ko Olina on Oahu, but it was not the same thing. We'll go for different next year.

-After a week at the beach, I traveled with BFF to Las Vegas. She was going for work and we had a great time hanging out and observing court. It was nice to get real one-on-one time with her, learn more about her job and see some strong arguments of unconstitutional doings in the courts. I gambled a total of $1. I lost it all. I know, I'm such a risk taker.

The Lowlights
-I wound up gaining some weight back, putting me way over where I need to be for the IUIs. Given the scheduling of my vacation, done when I thought my cycle would be regular, it's almost like I set myself up for failure. Since I got back from Vegas (Wednesday), I've cut out carbs, seriously trimmed my portions and been exercising every day. Hopefully, I'll be close enough to the limit when I go in (likely this week) that they'll still let us go forward.

-This intense pressure to lose weight so that we don't lose another month/opportunity has not been great for my mental status.

-JD's depression is in overdrive. My MIL confided in me yesterday that while I was in Vegas, he was the worst that he's been in a long time and that she was worried that he would need to be hospitalized. Maybe that's not a bad idea. There has been talk of having JD switch meds. I just hope that the doctors come up with something that works and soon.

*Did you know that Sha Na Na performed at Woodstock? Me neither.

Infected

My now-not-so-beloved has downloaded a virus onto my laptop. AGAIN. Brought it into work and they said it was fixed. Guess what? It's not.

Now I've got to lug it in again. Grr. (And on my white suit day too (see the comments)).

Outwardly, I've been very calm. I mean, what can you do? Things happen. I do think, however, that JD has finally gotten the message and the reason why I do not want him working (read: playing some stupid computer game) on my computer.

I told him yesterday that I wanted to get him his very own laptop for our anniversary (coming up at the end of August). He said that he hadn't come up with an idea for a gift for me. I said, "You don't understand. That is the gift for me."

Darn it. I should at least get a china cabinet out of all this. This is the one I have my eye on. Isn't it beeyooteeful? And only for the cost of a fertility treatment or two.

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Work has been insane and I'll be travelling on Sunday for a shiva call (my brother's wife's brother passed away unexpectedly last week) so I may not be posting much in the coming days.