People Who Hate Me: The Fat Haters

Welcome back to another edition of People Who Hate Me, now with more hate.  Who's hating me this week?  The incompetent sonographer (we'll call her "Dum Dum") and her azhat supervisory doc at the testing site for my week 20 scan.  Why?  Because I'm fat, have bones and require the Zofran pump for my hyperemesis.

As you know, I'm receiving Zofran through a subcutaneous pump.  Here's how it works (in non-technical language):

1) Infusion site: This is a plastic disc about the size of a quarter that sticks to my belly.  The disc has a spiked, fixed tube on it that goes into my skin (hence: subcutaneous).

2) Tube: The disc is connected to a thin, 2 ft. long tube that attaches to a syringe of meds on the pump.

3) Pump: The pump is about the size of a remote control and you wear it in a purse-like bag with an arm strap.  You put a syringe of meds in the top of the pump and the pump's computer pushes on the syringe plunger, thus pushing the meds through the tube and into me, stopping me from doing my never-ending Exorcist imitation.

So, I can't stop the meds and remove the site for you, Dum Dum.  You are not worth continuous vomit.  You'll have to work around it.  This totally threw her.

Also throwing her was that I was fat.  Now, I am aware that extra padding does make it a little more difficult to do a sonogram; it does not, however, make a scan impossible.  In addition, I don't think it was my fat, I think it was Dum Dum's lack of knowledge of anatomy.  See, no matter how much you shove on my hip bone with the transducer, the bone will not move out of the way.  It's bone, that's how that works.

After Dum Dum finished the scan, we were sent back to speak with her azhat supervisory doctor.  He told us, "Your baby is really big.  It's something we're worried about and you should be too.  You're going to have to have a c-section because you're so big and because the baby is so big.  In fact, we've included a note on our report that the scan was technically difficult due to your fatness."

Fine, asshole, but is the baby okay?  Are all the parts in the right place?  Are all the parts there that are supposed to be there?  Oh, yes.  The baby is perfectly healthy.  F-ck you, you prick.

Thank goodness I was seeing my doctor that afternoon anyways.  She's awesome and was like, "don't listen to that asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about.  You're measuring a few days ahead, the baby is a little larger than average (baby is 14 oz.) and you're not automatically going to do anything.  You're only at week 20.  The baby is fine.  Your weight looks great and your blood pressure is fine.  We can all calm down."  I love my doctor.