Friday, I'm In Love

Greetings from Boredom Central!! Trying to while away the hour or so left in my workday before I leave for an exhibition hockey game. GO CAPS!! Apologies for the trite post title, but I thought this one was better than writing "TGIF."

In the past couple of weeks, my depression has come back full force. Lots of malaise, crying episodes and just generally feeling not able to handle all the tasks in my life. After much urging by my Fairy Godmother (i.e., my therapist), I went to go see the psychiatrist who prescribes my drugs, since my Fairy Godmother is not an MD.

I was hesitant because I didn't want to have my dosage increased. I felt that I've got a lot weighing on me right now, and that my emotional responses are how anyone else would feel when confronted with these things. While my doctor agreed with me, she said that it was important to make a distinction. Feeling sad or angry as I do is a "normal" reaction, but feeling hopeless and overwhelmed to the point of being frozen is not. What an increase would do is help me to help myself, overcome these feelings of being incapable of dealing with the problems in my life.

Of course, she's right. After our appointment, I felt more positive and while researching an item for work, found my latest project, 101 Things in 1001 Days (see here). After only one day of the increased dosage, I find myself more productive at work and more accepting of the issues in my life.

I'm quite proud of the list, which took some thought to put together. I'm also excited to start working on many of the items. Some of them I've started already. For example, for #61, I want to take a picture of JD and myself at least once a month. To that end, I've brought my camera with me and will make sure that I take a picture of us attending the hockey game. Yay!

I had to beg and plead, but was finally able to get John Dear to take a look at my 101 in 1001 list. JD seems very energized about it, and immediately replied with comments and questions on items in the list in order to help me accomplish the tasks. I tried to explain to him that I have 2.75 years to finish the list, so we don't need to dial up the crazy just yet. But I'm glad that he is as excited about the list as I am.