Tuesday, September 9, 2008

All I See is Red

Rage. Maybe I'm not responding correctly to the email I just received. Some backstory: per MIL's urgings, I contacted a few local fertility clinics to double-check if they too had BMI limits in order to perform IVF/ICSI procedures.
Here's what I wrote:

I live in XXXXXX and have been going to another fertility clinic.
My husband and I have been diagnosed with male-factor due to ejaculatory inhibition and poor motility. Our RE told us our only chance was IVF/ICSI, but that my weight was over what they allowed for IVFs. I am currently XXX lbs (44 BMI). Do you have a weight/BMI limit?

Here's what I received from one of them:

Dear Jendeis, Thank you for contacting XXXXXX, all reputable RE's will refuse to give fertility medications needed for IVF to someone who is overweight due to the multiple health risks, including an unhealthy pregnancy with increased blood pressure and gestational diabetes. However, you did not mention whether you have been evaluated and/or treated for polycystic ovarian syndrome or a thyroid problem which could be contributing to the weight problem. We have many patients with weight problems due to hormone imbalances that also cause infertility, with treatment and lifestyle cahanges [sic] they can be successful.

The more I read this, the more enraged I get. I'm trying to write a response, but I and it gets too angry and I can feel the veins in my neck pulsing. I clearly wrote that our issue is male-factor IF; not PCOS or thyroid problems. Also, our RE told us that the weight limit was for the anaesthesia issues, not the fertility meds. Really there is nothing keeping us from conceiving except for John Dear's slow sperm. I'm shaking I'm so angry. Am I interpreting this incorrectly? Am I totally out-of-whack?

I just want an answer to my question. What should I write? YOU be the author.


LJ said...

I'd be pissed too. But at the same time, people are freakin' dolts, so I'd do the kill 'em with kindness:

Dear ignoramus (or person's name),

I appreciate the response. However, my weight has been determined to not be a factor in fertility, via many tests. I do not have PCOS, nor any thyroid concerns. Our fertility issue is strictly male factor. Given that information, do you have any weight restrictions for an IVF cycle?

A more open and loving person than yourself.

Leah said...

I'd say this:

Dear Buttmunch,

Suck it.

Hating you,

Anonymous said...

I see your point, but I think they were trying to be helpful and suggest a possible reason for your being overweight. I'm certainly a bit overweight, and my OB thought my PCOS was definitely a contributing factor toward that. I think since you didn't specifically say that you didn't have PCOS (which you didn't really need to) they're trying to be overly helpful in stating a possible reason for that. I would be angry, but don't give yourself an ulcer over it, I think they didn't mean it like you took it. Sorry for the assvice. :S

Jen said...

Sometimes people have no tact at all. I can't believe they said that.

Anonymous said...

I really hope you wrote back:
Dearest Judgemental Dochebag,
Nope, just fat. Fabulously fat. In fact, I am so amazing in my fatness- all Ihaveto do is eat! I don't even HAVE to have PCOS or an imbalance. I am like a fucking superhero!

I appreciate your INsensitivity- Fuck you very much. Thank you very little.


Fertilized said...

I am late on this but W T F .. That is far uncalled for.

I was told the weight issue was also for the anaesthesia.

I don't know if you read my blog when my last IUI supposedly failed and my RE tried to sell me his weight loss program (medi something that he was starting up in his office) .. before he would move us to IVF ..infuriating

Jen said...

I'd be pissed if you weren't pissed! WTH? You clearly stated that you were told that you've been told that you're only option is IVF. Obviously, your RE would have already checked for PCOS or a thyroid condition. What idiots.

Lena bo-bena said...

OK so this is half on topic, but I meandered over here from my BFF Gumby's Blog (I check and see what she's up to once in a while), and noticed that you joined weight watchers at the very same weight that I did! you GO! I am in between your goals #42 & #43 and have been for about 9 months - anyone who says weight loss is easy is full of shit! Anyhoo, good luck!