Everything is Everything - The 48 Hour Post

Another post of bullets brought to you by the makers of Too Much Work, coming to an office near me.

-Been doing the back & forth "Am I Pregnant?" disco re-mix for the last week. The answer is complicated by the fact that my cycle since time began was 35 days, but had been 28 days for the last 4 months. A test on Saturday (3 days late on 28 day cycle) and one last night (5 days late on 28 day cycle) say NO. A 35-day cycle means today's the day. Yet, no sign of the Aunt, and lots of possible symptoms. I think that my body is just effing with me at this point.

-Last Wednesday, John Dear and I drove down to Johns Hopkins to meet with their male infertility specialist. Very nice and funny guy, he will henceforth be known as Dr. WAKS (as in Doctor Who Actually Knows Something). Ooh, that's funny in several ways! (Will explain upon request).

Dr. WAKS nixed JD's suggestion of electro-ejaculation for several reasons. One, it does not guarantee an ejaculation (though if there is one, you will be able to collect enough for IVF). Two, it requires general anesthesia and is not at all a sexual release b/c they are effing electrocuting you! (Thank you, Dr. WAKS for attempting to explain this to JD who still doesn't get this). Three, Dr. WAKS, male infertility specialist at a major research institution, hasn't done the procedure since about 1987. Four, Dr. WAKS doesn't even know if Hopkins still has the equipment to do the procedure.

Dr. WAKS also recommended against the traditional testicular biopsy, which in JD's case (YMMV), would require an epidural and a pretty lengthy recovery time. While a biopsy would allow a larger collection of sperm, inseminations after the first round would require the use of frozen, not fresh, sperm.

Instead, the good doctor recommends the much-easier percutaneous aspiration. This is one needle going in, taking out some sperm and we're done. The procedure only requires local anesthetic and the pain and recovery, we're told, are the equivalent of a blood draw. The procedure can be done at the doctor's office, and can be timed so that there's a fresh sample for any cycle.

-AF came late last night, CD 35. Pretty much expected it, so no real emotional issues going on. We'll be focusing on my losing the rest of the weight needed to get to BMI 40. Check out my tickers at the bottom! Almost halfway there!

-Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everybody!