Friday, May 9, 2008


"Everything that's happening now is happening now." That's pretty much how I'm feeling these days. The drugs have definitely kicked in and I'm feeling pretty good. Dr. Chai and I decided yesterday that my only stressors right now are situational as opposed to chemical/emotional. So, we're going to continue doing what we're doing.

Dr. Chai did make an interesting suggestion. She suggested that perhaps John Dear should take off a month or two, basically a "health sabbatical." This would be time for JD to get his health back and do whatever he needs to do in order to achieve that (physical therapy, doctor's appointments, etc.). I was concerned about a negative reaction when I broached it last night, but JD was receptive and we were able to discuss it and his job prospects thoroughly and rationally.

One of the reasons behind the sabbatical, which I have not discussed with JD yet, is to make a determination of whether we can work this out. Our marriage has been difficult, perhaps more so than most, and JD's health and emotional problems have contributed to its lack of partnership. As I discussed with Dr. Chai, if John Dear were able to get his health back -- an achievement that is entirely within his control -- the emotional problems would be manageable quirks and we could have a happy marriage. I will be discussing this aspect of the sabbatical with Fairy Godmother tonight to determine how I want to approach it with John Dear.


FunkyFrum said...

good luck. let me tell you, the best thing that has happened for my marriage so far was my husband leaving his job so he could take a year off and study. while money is a real cruncher, we have fought less (A LOT less) and generally been happier people as we now have a flexible schedule to DO things.

Jen said...

Yeah, work is a huge cause of stress! I hope it helps!

JJ said...

It sounds like the sabbatical idea would be very beneficial--for BOTH of you. Im hoping that this will be the opening of a door to many other GOOD things!

annacyclopedia said...

This sounds so good for both of you. I know my marriage has gotten a lot better (although still far from perfect) since I have been off work and dealing with my own stuff. And you are very wise to see it from both angles - JD's physical and emotional health, and the strength of your partnership. Wishing you all the best as you start to work through the details.