The Surgery - Part I

On Wednesday last, John Dear had a triple arthrodesis of his right foot and ankle. This surgery was to correct JD's very, very, very, very flat feet.

Here's what happened to John Dear:

1. The doctors cut an incision on the right side and left side of his foot, using the incisions to scrape out the cartilage.


2. They broke JD's right foot and ankle in three places.


3. They realigned his foot (which points inward as opposed to straight ahead) so that it was in line with his ankle (which does point straight ahead).


4. They drilled 4 screws into the bones to hold it all together. As opposed to the picture here, the fourth screw in JD's foot was inserted into the bottom of his heel, going straight up.


5. They removed bone marrow from JD's pelvis and mixed it with artificial bone, then ground it into a paste.


6. They spread the paste all over the little cracks and holes of the screwed-together bones, so that they can grow together into one Super Bone!


7. Finally, the doctors sewed up the incisions with dissolving sutures and covered the whole thing with cotton batting and an enormous sticky Ace bandage.

**At some point of the surgery, someone drew a smiley face on the bottom of John Dear's toe. I can only imagine that this was to mark which foot to operate on. People keep asking me if I did it, and I'm like "no, I would've written something obscene." Like my title says, we got crazy here.**