Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Yes, I'm weak and cave in to peer pressure. Sue me. Before you do, however, please take a guess at the two truths in the following list.

1. My alias is a play on words of my maiden name.
2. I was so bloodthirsty in watching John Dear play God of War that I actually scared him.
3. My cell phone number is one digit off from a federally-indicted drug trafficker and I get lots of late night phone calls from his "clients".
4. I secretly think that Virginia is better than Maryland.
5. I knew where the name Gatorade came from before the commercials.
6. My mother and I are no longer allowed to play Scrabble together because we scream at each other so much that a neighbor once called the cops on us.
7. I am a nationally-ranked player of Trivial Pursuit and was once requested to audition for Jeopardy.
8. I taught a class to my company's employees on the required paperwork for reporting suspected terrorist cells in our apartments.