Wednesday, February 25, 2009

ICLW - Day 5

For an intro to my blog, click here.

While I was up in Bahstahn (gotta say it like a native), John Dear had dinner with his parents. I think this did a lot of good as they were able to discuss specifics without me there and talk about JD's concerns. His parents told him that all they wanted was for JD to be happy and that in whatever manner our children came into our family, they were our children and our family. JD told me that he now understands that what would make him happy is having a child, not a genetic link to a child. So, JD is on board with using donor sperm.

Now, we just have to decide if we're both in this marriage. We're not going to try and have a baby while we're unsure about US.

I've been talking this through with some close friends, BFF, my Fairy G-dmother and my mother. Right now, I'm working through the angle of whether or not JD would be a good parent to our child. I think he would be good at the fun stuff, but he can also be scary with his moods. Plus, his lack of logical thinking and reason/reasonableness isn't a good trait to have when being a parent.

I don't know how this will turn out.

Comments Left At:
1. Ima on (and off) the Bima
2. Barren Is the New Black
3. This Side of Eternity
4. Happy to Be at Home
5. Mulberry Spot

Comment Returned To:
1. Baby Making Journey

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theworms said...

Stopping by from ICLW. GL with everything, it seems like you have some big decisions to make.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

It is a step in the right direction that he is on board with donor sperm (spoken from a DS mom)...

But, figuring out your marriage right now is the priority.

Wishing you all the best in this situation - marriage is tough!

L said...

That is at least one small hurdle crossed. I will send lots of prayers to you girl- that is such a hard road to have to travel. Wow, I am just FULL of analogies today. LOL GOOD LUCK!!!!! Thank you for visiting my blog. You are now on my rea.der so I will be now following along!

L said...

OMG- I love the protest for global warming!!! Where did you get that? Can I lift it and send it to my sister that lives in MN???

LJ said...

I am so glad that the DS hurdle has been cleared. I know it's just the beginning of many deep moments to come, but celebrate the small victory.

We may need more Thai food to discuss this over. ;)

Jen said...

I'm glad you've come to a decision! I know that isn't easy.

VA Blondie said...

It sounds like you have a lot to work through still. It looks to me that you are on the right road.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Fertilized said...

Welcome home and I am very glad that you guys are dialoging so much.

Anonymous said...


This can't be easy for you my friend. I'm here to share a virtual drink anytime.


annacyclopedia said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you didn't have to go through all this right now, but at the same time, I'm glad you're taking the time to really consider everything. My sister's partner is the kind of dad that is good at the fun stuff, and not that interested in anything else. He's getting better, but their oldest child just turned 5, and I know it has not been and continues to not be easy on my sister. It is important to think about - I know you know this - just offering this to say, long-windedly, that I totally support you, no matter what the outcome.

Hugs to you, Jendeis.

Seriously? - Erin said...

Here from ICLW. I think it is very smart to work out your couple stuff first. Unfortunately so many people don't.

I sometimes worry about how my husband will be at balancing all of his commitments when our son is here. I am just hoping for the best right now.

Me said...

Congrats on him figuring himself out about the DS.

As for the you-and-him... I have no wisdom - just empathy. And just because I'm not relating every dirty detail of our woes on my blog does not mean that we are perfect happy marriage. We still have issues but we are actually working to resolve them. That said, sometimes I do feel like Sisyphus.