Perseverate: to repeat something insistently or redundantly.
As I've said in previous posts, John Dear and I are now debating/deciding/going back and forth/perseverating on whether or not to try an IVF with JD's sperm or try an IUI with donor sperm.
My mentor advocated doing a pros and cons chart, so let's do that here.
IVF with JD's Sperm -- Pros
- JD will be genetically related to our child. (As will his parents, sister and few remaining relatives).
- No worries about whether JD will be able to love/connect with our child due to non-relation.
- At a lower body weight, less health risk for Jen and baby during pregnancy, (pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, etc.).
- No worries about how to broach subject with child or other family members.
- Child pretty much guaranteed to get all of JD's medical issues.
- Major financial and emotional hardships due to child's medical issues.
- Have to wait a longer time for Jen to lose more weight.
- Weight loss is no guarantee that Jen won't have pregnancy risks.
- Jen will have to be on lots of drugs that may hinder weight loss/put her over weight limit, screw with her emotions and mood, screw with her health.
- Jen will have to miss work for monitoring, retrieval, transfer and recovery.
- JD has to go through aspiration procedure (needles).
- JD may require a longer recovery time than doctors anticipate (as is often the case).
- Financial cost is high.
- Child won't have JD's medical issues.
- We can start very soon.
- No drugs needed (at least, not for this go round).
- Financial cost is lower.
- JD's family is one that has adoption in it and is unlikely to treat child or us any differently.
- Child not genetically related to JD.
- Donor may not give/may not know full medical history.
- Child may have genetic/medical issues no matter whose sperm we use.
- JD has doubts as to whether he can love/connect with our child.
- Worries as to how JD's family/others will deal with knowledge, will they treat our child less because our child is not genetically related?